shattered stained glass part II

shatteredstainedglass.com is set to open its virtual doors sometime next week. it has been an adventure, to say the least but i have had the great privilege of traveling this road with 4 exceptional women. 4 women from different walks of life in different stages of life - brought together to accomplish that which none us could have done on her own. we have built it for us and women like us.

shatteredstainglass.com is for the woman who doesn't fit in with women's ministry, the woman who "tried" church and walked away more wounded than when she first walked in the door, the woman who finds that pat answers and caligraphy bible verses don't even begin to help with a life lived in the fast lane or the carpool.

it is for those of us who have tried make ourselves fit in with the "church ladies." (i mean no disrespect by that term - i have reserved it for those women who are comfortable and content with women's ministry today.)

side road - my value set was slightly off kilter compared to ladies in the Mary/Martha Missionary Circle. trust me, i admit it - i'm a little on the eccentric side. i would rather talk about theology than carpet stain removal. not that i didn't think that removing carpet stains isn't important - i'm just not wired to want to talk about it while hanging out with a group of women (ok, i'm not wired to want to talk about it with anyone, anywhere). and because they seemed to like talking about it. . . well, i knew something was definitely wrong with me.

i spent a lot of time looking for women like me and every once in a while i'd find one. but it truly was "every once in a while. . . " and we would try the "meeting" and end up going out for a cup of coffee afterwards to decompress. we would try a few more "meetings" and then just forgo them and meet at the restaurant. we would talk about politics and faith, money and faith, housework and a lack of faith, books and faith, sex and faith. . . basically, life and faith. no devotional, no church business, no small talk - real life and coffee with no pretense or masks. it was good. "as iron sharpens iron. . . "

part of the problem is that a lot of today's women's ministry is event driven. i personally do not enjoy ladies' teas or brunches or socials - never have. and i am not saying that they should be abolished. . . just that they don't meet the needs of a lot of women who are part of the church body.

a lot of women don't do small talk well. not to mention that events don't necessarily lend themselves to honest disclosure among the participants. events are a great way to introduce your group to new people and vice a versa - but we seem to be missing the next step - and since we're good at event planning. . . we plan another big event.

a lot of life gets lived in between those events - a lot of life that isn't "safe" table talk.

and the church/women's ministry leaders don't always recognize that today's women's ministry is NOT a one-size-fits-all. forty years ago the majority (ok, all but one) of gals in my mom's bible study were married with children and didn't work outside the home. her group met Wednesday mornings. many churches today - as an afterthought - are adding an evening bible study for women who work outside the home modeled after the morning study - and that may not be the right model to follow.

the majority of women's ministry efforts are directed at those women who are "free" during the day or the "big event" for everyone.

we need a mentoring, discipleship kind of ministry to women. we don't need to buy a workbook to go through with each other. we need to go through life with each other - walking, talking, crying, learning to be brave, learning when and where to say "yes, please" and "no, thank you very much." we need to acknowledge that LOTS of times there are no easy answers and there is nothing WE can DO. we need to own up to the fact that a life lived by faith should be exactly that - a life lived by faith (insert your favorite definition of faith right here).

we need to stop exploiting - and yes, i chose that word very carefully - women who have been to hell and back and lived to tell about it. a huge crisis traps you, consumes you, make whatever "IT" is the focal point of your incredibly human existence. and yes, a stronger and deeper faith can be forged in that tremendous heat and pressure.

but we are failing miserably in teaching/mentoring each other in the finer points of faith-living life day-to-day. some of us are not derailed by "the crisis" as much as we are the hundreds of little, important unimportant, seemingly inconsequential choices we make daily that slowly change our course, ever-so-slightly - and perhaps, even lead us - unknowingly to "the crisis."

a mentoring/discipleship, living life together ministry takes time and effort and can't usually be scheduled nicely to fit in a Daytimer or Blackberry. . .

so, our small attempt to meet our needs and those like us - shatteredstainedglass.com
contact me if you'd like an invitation. . .