i remember the craziness of Y2K. . . do you?
people were freaking out - Christians were freaking out. . . putting away canned goods, water, batteries and basic survival gear. travel plans were cut way back. . . everyone wanted to be in their own homes when the world ended. . .
hmmmm, that didn't happen.
it seems like there is a lot of worrying and fear about what the future holds for all of us. suddenly the world is a much smaller place than it was during the Cold War. now we share a economic connectedness that is terrifying on a good day. the internet, while sometimes showcasing our cultural differences can't help but point to the truth that we all bleed red. . .
we do not know what 2009 will bring. . . but we shouldn't be afraid. . .
we know what to do ". . . to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God."
and that is enough.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Senior Adult Choir Hip Hop (Short Version)
saw this video and knew it belonged here. . i copied the notes below. . . their grandchildren should be proud!
"This was the opening video for our Student Fall Retreat called "You've Got Talent." Everyone is asking what inspired this. Here is goes... 1) We needed a great opening video that caught everyone off guard, and set the the tone for the weekend. 2) With this idea in mind, we thought we could use this video as a great object lesson about media choices (kinda creepy hearing your grandparents sing some of this), and 3) this has been a GREAT transgenerational culture experiment. It has totally bridged a gap with our Senior adults and our students. Hope you enjoy!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
an alternative to new year's resolutions
when i was younger i was dumber. . . a lot dumber about some very common sense kinds of things. . . such as the idiocy of making new year resolutions that even Mother Theresa couldn't keep.
every year i would carefully write out 3 or 4 OR 5 or 10 goals for the coming year. . .
(side road - yeah, i'm a bit of a deluded overachiever. i am a bona fide type A workaholic who suffers from delusions or hallucinations - not sure which - concerning getting 29.5 hours of work crammed into the standard issue 24 hour day with a minimum of 6 hours of sleep. and yes, i know, once i type it and see it in print, the whole absurdity of it makes me question my sanity. it might be time for a reality check. . . time machines have not been invented yet. . . regardless of what EBay has to offer.)
back to the goals. . . i want you to know that i had carefully prayed over those resolutions. they were a part of the divine plan for my life. Philippians 4:13 had me covered. failure was not an option. . . but it was a certainty. one simply cannot improve one's posture and penmanship while developing a new personality, working towards world peace, writing this year's vacation bible school theme song, and memorizing the book of 2 Chronicles. there just aren't enough hours in the day.
in this case, failure was not a backdoor to success regardless of what my favorite pastor of Moody Church in Chicago had to say about it. failure was failure. i had tied this whole thing into my spirituality and so by the end of January, and sometimes sooner, i was a mess, but an optimistically determined one - as evidenced by the same scenario played out 11 months later.
but then i kinda developed a new "bring in the new year" ritual. i call it the auld lang syne binge purge. i binge on self-loathing and pity while mulling over last year's blunders until i want to vomit. and then i write it all down - every pickin' mistake and shortcoming that registered at least a 2.1 on the richter scale of failure (some years i've had to use adding machine tape). as soon as i'm done, i go out into the night and set the paper on fire, watch it burn until it is gone while singing one verse of auld lang syne. and then i go to bed ready to start the new year with hope and a sense of endless possibilities instead of premonitions of guilt and depression.
i can't say much more than this - it works for me.
if you decide to try this at home, a small suggestion. . . sing quietly while you're outside burning last year's list, especially if you're in your pj's - you'll have less explaining to do to your neighbors and the nice policeman with his breathalyzer kit.
every year i would carefully write out 3 or 4 OR 5 or 10 goals for the coming year. . .
(side road - yeah, i'm a bit of a deluded overachiever. i am a bona fide type A workaholic who suffers from delusions or hallucinations - not sure which - concerning getting 29.5 hours of work crammed into the standard issue 24 hour day with a minimum of 6 hours of sleep. and yes, i know, once i type it and see it in print, the whole absurdity of it makes me question my sanity. it might be time for a reality check. . . time machines have not been invented yet. . . regardless of what EBay has to offer.)
back to the goals. . . i want you to know that i had carefully prayed over those resolutions. they were a part of the divine plan for my life. Philippians 4:13 had me covered. failure was not an option. . . but it was a certainty. one simply cannot improve one's posture and penmanship while developing a new personality, working towards world peace, writing this year's vacation bible school theme song, and memorizing the book of 2 Chronicles. there just aren't enough hours in the day.
in this case, failure was not a backdoor to success regardless of what my favorite pastor of Moody Church in Chicago had to say about it. failure was failure. i had tied this whole thing into my spirituality and so by the end of January, and sometimes sooner, i was a mess, but an optimistically determined one - as evidenced by the same scenario played out 11 months later.
but then i kinda developed a new "bring in the new year" ritual. i call it the auld lang syne binge purge. i binge on self-loathing and pity while mulling over last year's blunders until i want to vomit. and then i write it all down - every pickin' mistake and shortcoming that registered at least a 2.1 on the richter scale of failure (some years i've had to use adding machine tape). as soon as i'm done, i go out into the night and set the paper on fire, watch it burn until it is gone while singing one verse of auld lang syne. and then i go to bed ready to start the new year with hope and a sense of endless possibilities instead of premonitions of guilt and depression.
i can't say much more than this - it works for me.
if you decide to try this at home, a small suggestion. . . sing quietly while you're outside burning last year's list, especially if you're in your pj's - you'll have less explaining to do to your neighbors and the nice policeman with his breathalyzer kit.
being just a little outta tune is ok, right?
i was thinking about this the other day, if being just a little out of tune is ok. . .
we were practicing for a Sunday morning worship and then our two Christmas Eve services. i was assigned keys which basically means that i would play piano on some songs and synth on others. we were doing a lot of traditional carols so the piano would be the instrument of choice for most songs. except that we had a teenie, weenie, little problem - there were about 3 notes on the piano that were slightly out of tune. and because they were spread about evenly in the octaves, chances were good that i could conceivably play around them. so during rehearsal i made note of what notes not to play. and it was all good.
but being in the Chicagoland area with its known weather extremes, we experienced a severe cold front between that rehearsal and Sunday morning. which in turn wrecked havoc with the temperature and dryness of our church sanctuary which did bad things to not only those 3 slightly-out-of-tune notes but encouraged more of the same musical independence from a lot of the other notes. . . do you see where i am going with this?
if i were soloing on the piano, it would have been noticeable - but probably forgivable.
but playing WITH the band, it was more than noticeable, it was painful, really painful.
the other instruments being of one mind and tune only made everything i played sound gross.
i finally gave up trying to figure out what not to play and realized it was easier than i thought - forget the piano and move to the synth for everything.
while not aesthetically pleasing to Christmas carol purists, playing the synth did allow for some creativity and even some pipe organ. . .
but back to the question. . .
being a little out of tune might be ok when you are soloing. . . but it is not ok when you are part of a group.
i think it is kind of like that in life too. i can have a bad attitude, be a little selfish and a teenie, weenie judgmental in my head and not affect anybody because there is no one else in my head but me (most of the time). but when i jump into life with others, it can be painfully obvious that i am in desperate need of an attitude adjustment because i am out of tune/step with them. it may subtle enough that i didn't catch it in my solo living but community living brought it to the surface. and i need to deal with it for the benefit of others and myself.
that is why living in community can be so important for Christ followers; it helps keeps us honest and in tune.
Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron. . ."
we were practicing for a Sunday morning worship and then our two Christmas Eve services. i was assigned keys which basically means that i would play piano on some songs and synth on others. we were doing a lot of traditional carols so the piano would be the instrument of choice for most songs. except that we had a teenie, weenie, little problem - there were about 3 notes on the piano that were slightly out of tune. and because they were spread about evenly in the octaves, chances were good that i could conceivably play around them. so during rehearsal i made note of what notes not to play. and it was all good.
but being in the Chicagoland area with its known weather extremes, we experienced a severe cold front between that rehearsal and Sunday morning. which in turn wrecked havoc with the temperature and dryness of our church sanctuary which did bad things to not only those 3 slightly-out-of-tune notes but encouraged more of the same musical independence from a lot of the other notes. . . do you see where i am going with this?
if i were soloing on the piano, it would have been noticeable - but probably forgivable.
but playing WITH the band, it was more than noticeable, it was painful, really painful.
the other instruments being of one mind and tune only made everything i played sound gross.
i finally gave up trying to figure out what not to play and realized it was easier than i thought - forget the piano and move to the synth for everything.
while not aesthetically pleasing to Christmas carol purists, playing the synth did allow for some creativity and even some pipe organ. . .
but back to the question. . .
being a little out of tune might be ok when you are soloing. . . but it is not ok when you are part of a group.
i think it is kind of like that in life too. i can have a bad attitude, be a little selfish and a teenie, weenie judgmental in my head and not affect anybody because there is no one else in my head but me (most of the time). but when i jump into life with others, it can be painfully obvious that i am in desperate need of an attitude adjustment because i am out of tune/step with them. it may subtle enough that i didn't catch it in my solo living but community living brought it to the surface. and i need to deal with it for the benefit of others and myself.
that is why living in community can be so important for Christ followers; it helps keeps us honest and in tune.
Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron. . ."
Saturday, December 27, 2008
ok, i'm not the only one
"The Internet Addiction Support Group is sponsored by the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery (www.netaddiction.com). Founded in 2004, the group is a safe place on the web for those who feel addicted to the Internet to share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns with one another, and it is a place where loved ones of online addicts, can find support, validation, and guidance. It is focused on the healing that comes through sharing of one's difficulties in the recovery process."
i can't help it. . . this just sits wrong with me. . . it's like holding a weight watcher's group in a restaurant. . .
i'm gonna look for a face-to-face group. . .
i can't help it. . . this just sits wrong with me. . . it's like holding a weight watcher's group in a restaurant. . .
i'm gonna look for a face-to-face group. . .
the internet - gotta have it
well, it is official. . . i'm addicted to the internet. . . thank you Al Gore!
seriously. . . we have been having cable issues at our home since we moved in this year - phone, tv, and internet. nothing major that we could FIX - just the little, annoying electronic goblins that make their presence known at worst times. . . only to disappear or at least fade when the cable guy shows up.
this week i bought a new router thinking that this would finally put this whole thing to rest.
yeah, good idea. . . just wrong.
we had a bad modem, but we were able to switch it out for a less-bad modem that the tech left with us for such as time as this. parts of yesterday and today we didn't have tv service. and i didn't really care. and we don't have phone service at the moment. and i don't really care.
what i care/d about was no internet. . . no news, no blogging, no email, no news, no idea shopping, no after Christmas shopping (i hate in-person, real time, in-the-mall shopping - give me amazon.com!) did i mention "no news"????
anyways, i admit it. . . i need my internet more than my phone or my tv. . . and i can't believe i just wrote that.
i promise - i will go look for internet addiction self-help groups in my area as soon as i finish this post. . .
seriously. . . we have been having cable issues at our home since we moved in this year - phone, tv, and internet. nothing major that we could FIX - just the little, annoying electronic goblins that make their presence known at worst times. . . only to disappear or at least fade when the cable guy shows up.
this week i bought a new router thinking that this would finally put this whole thing to rest.
yeah, good idea. . . just wrong.
we had a bad modem, but we were able to switch it out for a less-bad modem that the tech left with us for such as time as this. parts of yesterday and today we didn't have tv service. and i didn't really care. and we don't have phone service at the moment. and i don't really care.
what i care/d about was no internet. . . no news, no blogging, no email, no news, no idea shopping, no after Christmas shopping (i hate in-person, real time, in-the-mall shopping - give me amazon.com!) did i mention "no news"????
anyways, i admit it. . . i need my internet more than my phone or my tv. . . and i can't believe i just wrote that.
i promise - i will go look for internet addiction self-help groups in my area as soon as i finish this post. . .
Monday, December 22, 2008
colder than ???
it is a little on the cold side here in the suburbs of Chicago. i think we have moved up to -3, with a windchill of -19.
i am not complaining. i am just wondering where in the world global warming is when you need him. . .
i am not complaining. i am just wondering where in the world global warming is when you need him. . .
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Folger's coffee commercial
loved the Folger's commercials with Mrs. Olson. . . as a kid, i was always expecting her to show up at our house. . .
this commercial has Seventh Heaven's Rev. Camden before he was Rev. Camden.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Christmas consumer complaints
i am working part-time for a toy distributor - an interesting choice of work to begin during the Christmas season. nothing like the convergence of new employment stupidity factor and the high pressure of retail supply and demand. . . and on-time delivery.
it's not brain surgery but the burden of making sure what the customer ordered is what the customer gets. . . well, it is a heavy one - especially the first two weeks of December. no one in the company wants to know they were responsible for disappointing a child on Christmas morning.
although we do our best to keep mistakes to a minimum, we are only human, and have been known to err on occasion. this has led me to wonder about the error factors of elves and Santa's employment of said non-humans. . . but i digress.
i've said all of that to say this. . . "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
if you need to return a gift because it is not what you ordered -
remember, "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
if you need to return a gift because it is what you ordered but it was not portrayed clearly enough in the picture or description- so in that respect it is not what you thought you ordered - remember, "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
if you need to return a gift because it came broken, crushed, or missing pieces -
remember, "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
just in case anyone is unclear about the whole flies, honey, and vinegar thing. . .
"You can win people more easily to your side with gentle persuasion and flattery than hostile confrontation."
The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition 2002
i'm not sure about the flattery part. . . but it probably can't hurt.
it's not brain surgery but the burden of making sure what the customer ordered is what the customer gets. . . well, it is a heavy one - especially the first two weeks of December. no one in the company wants to know they were responsible for disappointing a child on Christmas morning.
although we do our best to keep mistakes to a minimum, we are only human, and have been known to err on occasion. this has led me to wonder about the error factors of elves and Santa's employment of said non-humans. . . but i digress.
i've said all of that to say this. . . "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
if you need to return a gift because it is not what you ordered -
remember, "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
if you need to return a gift because it is what you ordered but it was not portrayed clearly enough in the picture or description- so in that respect it is not what you thought you ordered - remember, "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
if you need to return a gift because it came broken, crushed, or missing pieces -
remember, "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
just in case anyone is unclear about the whole flies, honey, and vinegar thing. . .
"You can win people more easily to your side with gentle persuasion and flattery than hostile confrontation."
The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition 2002
i'm not sure about the flattery part. . . but it probably can't hurt.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
keeping Christ in Christmas????
when my kids were little, i was a Christmas nazi. keeping Christ in Christmas was my soapbox!!!
we had enough of Commercial Christmas. . . we needed Christian Christmas!
yeah, about that. . .
i think that if we just tried to daily live "Christ in me", the whole keeping "Christ in Christmas" thing just might take care of itself.
we had enough of Commercial Christmas. . . we needed Christian Christmas!
yeah, about that. . .
i think that if we just tried to daily live "Christ in me", the whole keeping "Christ in Christmas" thing just might take care of itself.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Emerald Nuts
this explains a whole heck of lot at my office - and well, and we all know how important it is to keep Robert Goulet away. . .
Monday, December 15, 2008
back to the basics
this has been a weird week. . . church's Ladies' Christmas Tea (there's at least 4 or 5 posts in that alone), massive work hours (i'm working for a toy distributor - what was i thinking?), the untimely death of a younger cousin that shook me up a bit, and my dad has had a stroke.
oh yeah, AND there are only 9 shopping days until Christmas. . .
seriously, i am back to the basics. . .
life is fragile.
God is God and i'm not.
i haven't seen my 2nd or 3rd cousin, Jerry, (i have always been confused by those designations) since 1991. My mom had just passed away and my dad and i were invited to supper with my cousin's family. that dinner is pretty hazy as dad and i were still very much in the throes of grief. our families hadn't been together for close to 15 years so there was that awkwardness that comes from not staying in touch but being obligated by DNA. i told and laughed at an inappropriate joke. it's inappropriateness did not register with me until weeks after and i was mortified. i think that is why i don't tell jokes anymore.
Jerry was a jockey, racing thoroughbreds. i didn't know much about horses, racetracks, or what it takes to be jockey then, nor do i now. and i really didn't know much about him and his life since that dinner. you know how it is in families. . . the younger generation doesn't stay connected to each other, you just hear bits and pieces of news from the familial elders. . . Jerry won, Jerry lost, Jerry won some more, Jerry fell, Jerry got married, Jerry won, Jerry's horse died on the third turn, Jerry won again etc. etc. . .
but this is what i do know - Jerry beat leukemia when he was in grade school, successfully raced horses as an adult, and died at 39 after a fall in the shower.
cancer and racing and falling among large, heavy beasts didn't kill him. something as inglorious as a fall in the shower took him.
i have a hard time coming to terms with that.
my father is 80 this year and this is his third major hospital stay in 23 months - cancer, quadruple bypass, and now this. we are still waiting on tests and doctors for final diagnosis and then prognosis.
his voice has been affected and the left side of his body. he is very blessed. his language and thought process are intact and he is not paralyzed, just severely weakened. but my strong-willed, take-life-by-the-horns father is once again laying in a hospital bed, at the mercy of his well-worn body.
i know he has lived a good life but i have a hard time coming to terms with this stroke. i am not ready for him to leave yet. he is still needed and loved.
so i find myself back to the basics
life is fragile AND God is God.
sometimes i find it so hard to comprehend that God would send His Son to us. that God would allow His Son to take on human flesh in all its fragility.
i think that is the miracle of the nativity. . . not that a virgin gave birth. . . but that God chose to be human.
oh yeah, AND there are only 9 shopping days until Christmas. . .
seriously, i am back to the basics. . .
life is fragile.
God is God and i'm not.
i haven't seen my 2nd or 3rd cousin, Jerry, (i have always been confused by those designations) since 1991. My mom had just passed away and my dad and i were invited to supper with my cousin's family. that dinner is pretty hazy as dad and i were still very much in the throes of grief. our families hadn't been together for close to 15 years so there was that awkwardness that comes from not staying in touch but being obligated by DNA. i told and laughed at an inappropriate joke. it's inappropriateness did not register with me until weeks after and i was mortified. i think that is why i don't tell jokes anymore.
Jerry was a jockey, racing thoroughbreds. i didn't know much about horses, racetracks, or what it takes to be jockey then, nor do i now. and i really didn't know much about him and his life since that dinner. you know how it is in families. . . the younger generation doesn't stay connected to each other, you just hear bits and pieces of news from the familial elders. . . Jerry won, Jerry lost, Jerry won some more, Jerry fell, Jerry got married, Jerry won, Jerry's horse died on the third turn, Jerry won again etc. etc. . .
but this is what i do know - Jerry beat leukemia when he was in grade school, successfully raced horses as an adult, and died at 39 after a fall in the shower.
cancer and racing and falling among large, heavy beasts didn't kill him. something as inglorious as a fall in the shower took him.
i have a hard time coming to terms with that.
my father is 80 this year and this is his third major hospital stay in 23 months - cancer, quadruple bypass, and now this. we are still waiting on tests and doctors for final diagnosis and then prognosis.
his voice has been affected and the left side of his body. he is very blessed. his language and thought process are intact and he is not paralyzed, just severely weakened. but my strong-willed, take-life-by-the-horns father is once again laying in a hospital bed, at the mercy of his well-worn body.
i know he has lived a good life but i have a hard time coming to terms with this stroke. i am not ready for him to leave yet. he is still needed and loved.
so i find myself back to the basics
life is fragile AND God is God.
sometimes i find it so hard to comprehend that God would send His Son to us. that God would allow His Son to take on human flesh in all its fragility.
i think that is the miracle of the nativity. . . not that a virgin gave birth. . . but that God chose to be human.
back from vacation
well, i am back from vacation. . .
not the kind where sun bloc and palm trees heavily factor in. . . i'm talking about a reading vacation, where i still wake up, go to work, teach a bible study, attend church, and clean house (ok, only not so much. . . ) - you know, live my normal life (no funny comments here, ok?) BUT i cocoon myself from cell phone and texting and email and facebook and read and read and read. i polished off 5 books since December 2nd. i am refreshed, tired but refreshed!
that may not sound impressive - 5 books in 14 days, but one of them was Anathem by Neal Stephenson at over 900 pages. . . and if reading 900 pages doesn't tire one out. . . the fact that most of the 900 pages are math-drenched sci-fi should. and that my friend, is off the scale on the "can't read this for sheer escapism, have to employ massive amounts of brain cells for processing math theory to understand plot" meter. oh yeah, did i mention a huge dose of philosophical thought is included in every other chapter???
it's no joke - by the time i finished the book, i had severe brain cramping . which goes to prove that i am not as smart as i thought i was when it comes to heavy duty math and philosophy. but it was totally worth it!!
i go on reading vacations at least once a year. limiting people contact for a great increase in book content is a much needed thing in my life. i know that the holidays mean more time with more people. and kar can get pretty crabby, pretty quickly in that mode. so a little R & R with some good writing can really recharge my batteries and help me through the next few weeks.
besides, now i have something to talk about at all those holiday get-togethers. ;)
not the kind where sun bloc and palm trees heavily factor in. . . i'm talking about a reading vacation, where i still wake up, go to work, teach a bible study, attend church, and clean house (ok, only not so much. . . ) - you know, live my normal life (no funny comments here, ok?) BUT i cocoon myself from cell phone and texting and email and facebook and read and read and read. i polished off 5 books since December 2nd. i am refreshed, tired but refreshed!
that may not sound impressive - 5 books in 14 days, but one of them was Anathem by Neal Stephenson at over 900 pages. . . and if reading 900 pages doesn't tire one out. . . the fact that most of the 900 pages are math-drenched sci-fi should. and that my friend, is off the scale on the "can't read this for sheer escapism, have to employ massive amounts of brain cells for processing math theory to understand plot" meter. oh yeah, did i mention a huge dose of philosophical thought is included in every other chapter???
it's no joke - by the time i finished the book, i had severe brain cramping . which goes to prove that i am not as smart as i thought i was when it comes to heavy duty math and philosophy. but it was totally worth it!!
i go on reading vacations at least once a year. limiting people contact for a great increase in book content is a much needed thing in my life. i know that the holidays mean more time with more people. and kar can get pretty crabby, pretty quickly in that mode. so a little R & R with some good writing can really recharge my batteries and help me through the next few weeks.
besides, now i have something to talk about at all those holiday get-togethers. ;)
Straight No Chaser - 12 Days
sometimes the Christmas season can be a lot like this song. . . a little mixed up, a little stressed out, but still a lot of fun!
and this group is really good!
enjoy!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
lonliness
i found myself writing something really personal in an email this morning. . . so personal that i haven't even dared to write it in my journal. i have described it, but i have never penned it, named it, gave it the power it has wielded in my life over the years. . . until now.
i wrote ". . . most of my christian life has been lived in a loneliness that is both of God and anti-God at the same time."
i wrote it before benefit of morning coffee which might explain why my guard was down.
my life has surrounded me with people - family, church members, co-workers, neighbors, acquaintances of all shapes and sizes, and strangers. and some have been my friends. and in spite of the number of persons that have been a part of my journey, i have found myself in the company of loneliness more than anyone else.
she has met me late at night and early in the morning when it is only the two of us - and she has my full attention. she has joined me at numerous parties and dinners, standing just behind me. sometimes whispering in my ear during conversations i am trying to have with other guests. usually reminding me that i have nothing to offer and i have no business being a part of a gathering of people who so obviously enjoy being with people. so i find myself only attending those gatherings that are absolutely have-to's. . . it is much less work to be lonely by myself than to be lonely in a group of people.
that is anti-God. it is anti-community. it is anti-body of Christ. it is the easy way out. i don't need people - it is just me and God. God and me. He is all i need.
yes and no.
there is a loneliness of the soul that has always driven me into Him; not His presence or His arms. it has driven me into Him. and He refreshes and cleanses and heals. and then i can re-enter the human race with a better chance of not lashing out at anyone because of my weakness, my pain, my pride.
but God did not send His Son individually to each of us, private and personal. He sent His Son to a very public birth, life, and death - to all of us at once. and while that choice to believe, to follow, to live for Him is made in the quietness of our hearts - that choice calls us to be light and salt to the world - and actually, to be light and salt to the church as well.
it calls us to "be" for each other.
it is hard to "be" for each other in the privacy of our own homes. . .
we need to risk it. . .
we need to "be" for each other WITH each other.
i wrote ". . . most of my christian life has been lived in a loneliness that is both of God and anti-God at the same time."
i wrote it before benefit of morning coffee which might explain why my guard was down.
my life has surrounded me with people - family, church members, co-workers, neighbors, acquaintances of all shapes and sizes, and strangers. and some have been my friends. and in spite of the number of persons that have been a part of my journey, i have found myself in the company of loneliness more than anyone else.
she has met me late at night and early in the morning when it is only the two of us - and she has my full attention. she has joined me at numerous parties and dinners, standing just behind me. sometimes whispering in my ear during conversations i am trying to have with other guests. usually reminding me that i have nothing to offer and i have no business being a part of a gathering of people who so obviously enjoy being with people. so i find myself only attending those gatherings that are absolutely have-to's. . . it is much less work to be lonely by myself than to be lonely in a group of people.
that is anti-God. it is anti-community. it is anti-body of Christ. it is the easy way out. i don't need people - it is just me and God. God and me. He is all i need.
yes and no.
there is a loneliness of the soul that has always driven me into Him; not His presence or His arms. it has driven me into Him. and He refreshes and cleanses and heals. and then i can re-enter the human race with a better chance of not lashing out at anyone because of my weakness, my pain, my pride.
but God did not send His Son individually to each of us, private and personal. He sent His Son to a very public birth, life, and death - to all of us at once. and while that choice to believe, to follow, to live for Him is made in the quietness of our hearts - that choice calls us to be light and salt to the world - and actually, to be light and salt to the church as well.
it calls us to "be" for each other.
it is hard to "be" for each other in the privacy of our own homes. . .
we need to risk it. . .
we need to "be" for each other WITH each other.
Monday, December 1, 2008
what i'm reading at this moment
someone asked what a bunch of us are reading at the moment - heres' my list. . . Anathem, The Chess Garden ( for about 7th time - thank you emily millikan), Digging Ditches (thank you ginger epinnette), Are Women Human? (thank you sarah flashing), Life of the Beloved (this was recommended by Sister Elizabeth a long time ago - i read it once a year!), and The Other Boleyn Girl (thank you becky labus and emily campbell). i rarely read one book at a time and usually have 5 or 6 going at once, in different genre's of course!
shattered stained glass part I
when i started blogging last month i made mention of the fact that the involuntary contrarian was only one small piece of a bigger project - a scary, exciting, "can't-believe-we're-actually-doing-it" kinda project. notice the "we". . . that is a very important part of the project called Shattered Stained Glass due to open it's virtual doors in January.
i could never have imagined this or come close to pulling it off by myself - not in a gazillion years. but a group of like-minded women who have come to the conclusion that Christianity is not a one-size-fits-all adventure and wanted, needed someplace to connect and talk and encourage and challenge each other. . . well, now - THAT group of women could accomplish this.
Shattered Stained Glass is not supposed to take the place of your church, your church's women's ministry, your small group, or your family. it a place to come to talk, read, blog, engage - a place to rest and catch your breath during those "what the heck happened here?" times. . . it's a place to be yourself and perhaps come to terms with your faith or lack of it.
this is not a verbal version of Second Life the virtual reality game. everything at SSG is meant to be tried at home - with real neighbors, friends and family members.
talking honestly about our faith so we can honestly live out our faith.
faith meets real life. . . yep, that's it. . .
i could never have imagined this or come close to pulling it off by myself - not in a gazillion years. but a group of like-minded women who have come to the conclusion that Christianity is not a one-size-fits-all adventure and wanted, needed someplace to connect and talk and encourage and challenge each other. . . well, now - THAT group of women could accomplish this.
Shattered Stained Glass is not supposed to take the place of your church, your church's women's ministry, your small group, or your family. it a place to come to talk, read, blog, engage - a place to rest and catch your breath during those "what the heck happened here?" times. . . it's a place to be yourself and perhaps come to terms with your faith or lack of it.
this is not a verbal version of Second Life the virtual reality game. everything at SSG is meant to be tried at home - with real neighbors, friends and family members.
talking honestly about our faith so we can honestly live out our faith.
faith meets real life. . . yep, that's it. . .
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