i'm committed. . .

so i mentioned that i have been making an effort to stop being such a couch potato and get my body moving again. but did i mention that i don't have much to work with???

this is an almost-50-year-old version of a body that has been somewhat shabbily taken care of except for the 36 months or 3 years - whichever sounds worse - that were committed to 4 non-easy-breezy pregnancies followed by hours and hours and hours of labor getting those children here!!

yeah, no. . . a combined 7 hours of labor between 4 births. . . i exaggerated a tad. . .

but i do not exaggerate the fact that i have used and abused and basically ignored my standard issued human suit - only checking in with it on the rare occasions it acted up. i hate doctors and their offices and their hospitals so the ignoring part was and is easy.

two years ago i noticed that i started to make those noises in the mornings that my parents made. . . you know, the moaning and groaning that comes outta nowhere as you hoist yourself up and out of your very comfy bed. . . yeah, those. bad sign. really bad sign if you are in "middle aged" denial. it has only gone downhill from there. i stood on the sidelines, watching in mortifyingly, bored fascination as my young self morphed into my not-so-young self and then again into my never-going-to-be-young-again self.

so today, i take full responsibility for the condition - or is that non-condition that i have found myself in. BUT this is the first time in my married and mommied life i feel like i can make the time to take the time to invest in my health. sad, i know.

young mothers, do not do as i and so many women who have gone before you have done. . . living our harried parental lives by the mommy martyr creed - "i have given my life for my children, sacrificing everything including my size 2 jeans, to provide them with a good and safe and happy childhood. . . and delicious, nutritious meals and snacks. . . and a moderately priced but miraculously "in" wardrobe influenced by whatever sports or music idol they are aspiring to be. . . and a car and driver available at the whim of their schedules. . . oh, yeah, and an almost clean but comfortable home."

forsaking our own health club memberships in the quest to be the perfect mommies, we laid ourselves on the sacred altar of martyrdom and waited around to see if anyone noticed.

ok, no one noticed and now i find myself carrying around the pound-for-pound equivalent of a small kindergartner around my waist and hips.

so i am committed to sweating - and yes, i said the "S" word- 5 nights a week. and no, it is not to get back in shape. . . i have a "shape" and while i am not particularly fond of it, i am pretty convinced it is my density. :)

i am committed to my walking/jogging/staggering routine because
a. it feels soooooooooo good when the time is up and i get back in my car and drive home.
b. nothing, and i mean nothing reminds me of the mind-numbing, body exhaustion of being "mommy" to a brood of delightfully energetic pre-schoolers like dragging myself around a two mile loop of asphalt TWICE in this almost 50 year old body at the end of long, hard day.