i'm committed. . .

so i mentioned that i have been making an effort to stop being such a couch potato and get my body moving again. but did i mention that i don't have much to work with???

this is an almost-50-year-old version of a body that has been somewhat shabbily taken care of except for the 36 months or 3 years - whichever sounds worse - that were committed to 4 non-easy-breezy pregnancies followed by hours and hours and hours of labor getting those children here!!

yeah, no. . . a combined 7 hours of labor between 4 births. . . i exaggerated a tad. . .

but i do not exaggerate the fact that i have used and abused and basically ignored my standard issued human suit - only checking in with it on the rare occasions it acted up. i hate doctors and their offices and their hospitals so the ignoring part was and is easy.

two years ago i noticed that i started to make those noises in the mornings that my parents made. . . you know, the moaning and groaning that comes outta nowhere as you hoist yourself up and out of your very comfy bed. . . yeah, those. bad sign. really bad sign if you are in "middle aged" denial. it has only gone downhill from there. i stood on the sidelines, watching in mortifyingly, bored fascination as my young self morphed into my not-so-young self and then again into my never-going-to-be-young-again self.

so today, i take full responsibility for the condition - or is that non-condition that i have found myself in. BUT this is the first time in my married and mommied life i feel like i can make the time to take the time to invest in my health. sad, i know.

young mothers, do not do as i and so many women who have gone before you have done. . . living our harried parental lives by the mommy martyr creed - "i have given my life for my children, sacrificing everything including my size 2 jeans, to provide them with a good and safe and happy childhood. . . and delicious, nutritious meals and snacks. . . and a moderately priced but miraculously "in" wardrobe influenced by whatever sports or music idol they are aspiring to be. . . and a car and driver available at the whim of their schedules. . . oh, yeah, and an almost clean but comfortable home."

forsaking our own health club memberships in the quest to be the perfect mommies, we laid ourselves on the sacred altar of martyrdom and waited around to see if anyone noticed.

ok, no one noticed and now i find myself carrying around the pound-for-pound equivalent of a small kindergartner around my waist and hips.

so i am committed to sweating - and yes, i said the "S" word- 5 nights a week. and no, it is not to get back in shape. . . i have a "shape" and while i am not particularly fond of it, i am pretty convinced it is my density. :)

i am committed to my walking/jogging/staggering routine because
a. it feels soooooooooo good when the time is up and i get back in my car and drive home.
b. nothing, and i mean nothing reminds me of the mind-numbing, body exhaustion of being "mommy" to a brood of delightfully energetic pre-schoolers like dragging myself around a two mile loop of asphalt TWICE in this almost 50 year old body at the end of long, hard day.

Zoom Episode one - intro

for those who are old enough to remember this kid's show from the 70's. . . who can forget "ubbie dubbie" and musical numbers like "the cat came back?"

AcTs - Armchair Theologians

it has been a bit since i last wrote about the AcTs group. we meet semi-regularly at Panera or one of our homes. we get together after having read the current selection and discuss it from a theological standpoint. sometimes it is easy to see the correlation. . . The Idea of the Holy by Rudolph Otto. and sometimes maybe not-so-much. . . The Green Mile by Stephen King.

we have discussed The Shack by William P. Young and the Book of Judges from the Old Testament. and currently, we are set to tackle The Celtic Way of Evangelism by George G. Hunter and then Robert Briner's book Roaring Lambs.

the point is to get in a habit of talking about God and the relationship between Him and humankind. it's about developing a correct world view. whether or not you acknowledge having a world view - you have one. and it determines the way you look at your life and ultimately, the choices you make that determine your life.

getting together with others and reading through a book and then discussing it is a great way to challenge your own thinking. especially if you can find people smarter than yourself!

so pick a book and go find some smart friends!

off to the zoo

ok, the last time i visited the zoo was back in the 80's. children were very small. hair was very big. we had a good time.

we moved shortly thereafter to a town that boasted a SIX FLAGS GREAT AMERICA theme park less than 10 minutes away. i am guessing that close proximity to rides, candy, and large puppet headed cartoon characters won out over no rides, candy, and live animals in their natural habitat. we never did go back to that zoo.

i think that was probably an error in my parenting. . . puppet heads or live animals. . . i should have taken them to the zoo.

today one of our kids and her husband are taking dave and i to the zoo. times have changed.

125 or 126 shopping days until Christmas - depends on whose counting

the nest is empty. . .

it was 1996 and i was standing in my kitchen washing dishes, contemplating life and how lovely it was raising four creatively different children. praying for each kid as i washed up his/her plate from lunch. . .

yeah, right. while i was grateful for our brood of delightfully imaginative and very individualistically wired progeny, who came into our lives brilliantly disguised and packaged as small, cute, harmless newborns - i was also aware of the difficulty and exhaustion factors of allowing the number of said progeny to now hold house majority status. dave and i were outnumbered every day and outsmarted most days.

so, there i was, standing in front of the sink, doing the dishes, fuming that the dishwasher was on strike - again, wondering how an intelligent couple like us could have let this shift of power happen, when he walked in and asked "kar, do you realize we could be empty nesters in like 11 years?"

you would think i would laughed, hugged him, and then quickly did the math to figure out the approximate number of days left in this adventure into madness. but i did what for me was surprising. . . i started crying. . . hard and loud. . . because i realized that 11 years wasn't nearly enough time for those wonderful, God-given little blessings to finish raising dave and i. it wasn't nearly enough time for them to discover how much we loved them and were grateful that we were family. it wasn't nearly enough time.

over the years, dave and i have looked back and laughed over that incident. and i admit - i have done the math a couple of times. . . really. but it has actually been 13 years between that day and E-day. and i can tell you honestly, 13 years was both not nearly enough and just about right.

dave and i are better people, parents, and Christ-followers because of our kids and the wonderful job they did in teaching us how to major on the majors and minor on the minors. so i want to publicly thank you children for that.

thanks, kids!

oh and just one more thing. . . could you all return any and all housekeys you might still have in your possession back to your father and i asap?

AWOL for a season

i have been AWOL for a short season this summer because of

- son coming home for a week - surprising Dave and i (i now have more gray hair - i wonder if i can blame it on that????)

- my parents spending the very next week with us - short stay, had to pack a lot in and spend time catching up (i don't get to see them very often, usually i am flying home for dad's unexpected surgery. . . upside. . . he always thinks of his daughters braving the frigid winters of Wyoming and Illinois and "schedules" those unexpected hospital stays for February and March.)

- anticipation of empty-nesting. . . getting all the baby birds' schtuff to them and out of my nest (not as successful at this as hoped. . . realized that above mentioned schtuff didn't belong to the babies. . . was my schtuff all along. . . )

- creative writing project. . . or is that projectS???? (began outlining children's books i want to write for my grandkids - ok, yes. . . Dave and i have no grandkids at the present time. . . and there are none on the way either. . . but i got to thinking about writing a book for each of my kids, starring each of them as the major character. a book highlighting the adventures shared by that particular child and dave and i. and when the time comes, a book they can share with their children as they experience their own joys of parenthood. ok, revenge and parental payback have never entered my mind. . . the creative writing aspect has been very therapeutic for me. . .)

- i started working a second part-time job (do i need to say anything else here?)

- getting youngest daughter ready for out-of-state move and college. (that is really not that true. she got her own self ready. . . i just spent a lot of emotional energy imagining helping her to get ready for the out-of-state move and college.)

- committing 1.5 hours a night to stretching, walking, jogging, staggering, walking, stretching, and cooling down while enjoying nature at the local Lake Arlington path. (who am i kidding? i'm 48 and out of shape. . . end of sentence. coolness factor - total God-thing. . . my next door neighbor who is a lot younger and more in shape agreed to this journey into sweat and insanity. . . and on the other hand. . . i did buy myself an IPOD shuffle and have it brimming with the musical encouragement of QUEEN's "we will rock you and we are the champions". . . of course, "another one bites the dust" is also on there. . . )

so i'm back. . . frazzled, leaner (not so much) and meaner (definitely much more so), and ready to blog on a wide variety of topics. . . meryl streep as Julia Child, empty nesting as a life choice, creative quiet times while soaking in epsom salt baths, and the new Harry Potter movie. . . just to mention a few.

Happy Wednesday!