the involuntary contrarian

living in men world

2011-09-24T13:21:00.005-05:00

so for the first time in my life - i find myself the only female in a household of men - one husband, one son, and two insane dogs - dave, micah, stanley, and roger - respectively.

today, this was driven home (no pun intended) when i received a lesson on how real men carry in grocery bags - they don't use the handles. . . .

i know, this makes no sense to me either.

handles are so much easier - i can now set the bag down, and open the a) car door, b) car trunk, c) screen door and front door, and then pick it up with ease - by the handles. (this is especially useful if you are carrying more than one bag.)

gone are the days when i had to clutch the lumpy, heavy groceries bags to my chest- losing view of the area directly in front of my feet (dangerous when walking with small children - all of my kids learned the hard way to walk behind me so as not to get a "canned-goods" bruise up side the head).

hopefully, i remembered to get out my house KEY out before the clutching of the bags, because, God forbid i had to set those groceries down gracefully and without them pouring themselves out as some unsharp but protruding can caused a breach in the sturdy paper material, only to go digging around for my keys in the diaper bag i used as a purse for most of my married life. (ok, yes, i carried a diaper bag years past having any child in diapers - they were so much more practical. 1)they had so many useful pockets and compartments for all sorts of purse crappola (hence the digging - i never elected one pocket as the key pocket) and 2) i could throw the dang thing in the wash and have it come out looking like new - and you can't do that when your 6 old gets car sick and heaves directly into your fake leather-looking handbag.)

i can honestly say i have chased more than than my fair share of cambell's chicken noodle soup down my sloping driveway or lurched myself into the evergreens on either side of the front porch trying to locate the missing pie filling that went awol. (did eventually find it during the hard long winter when the grass under the evergreens died.)

so i for one happily said "PLASTIC" when asked and the choice was either a "handled" chemically created bag or a handle-less paper sack. and then - when paper grocery bag manufacturers figured they needed to add handles to keep up with their plastic competition, i saluted American ingenuity and proudly went back to "paper."

so this morning my son went to pick up a few things for me at two different grocery stores. he came back with both "handled" paper and plastic bags. and when i commented that he hadn't used the handles on the paper bag he shook his head. and when i started to say something about the plastic bags. . . he grabbed the top of the bag in his large man hand (like grabbing a chicken around the neck) and said "real men don't use them." and dave added "it's man law."

hmmmmmm, maybe it is time for a woman president. . .

Pray for You - Jaron and The Long Road to Love :: Official Video

2011-03-08T12:15:00.001-06:00

i can't help it. . . this song makes me laugh every time i hear it. . . i know we are not supposed to pray like this. . . but. . .

Piano stairs - TheFunTheory.com - Rolighetsteorin.se

2010-12-18T13:11:00.000-06:00

Bed Intruder Christmas - Liberty University - Surprising

2010-12-15T21:26:00.000-06:00

Being Authentic

2010-11-06T10:57:00.003-05:00

dave has recently been blogging on our church's environmental values. this last week he posted about the importance of being authentic. i liked what he wrote and thought it was worth sharing.

"People in our society have become increasingly skeptical of religion in general and of churches in particular. They have their “baloney radar” up and running. Credibility is an issue for us. To try posturing ourselves as better than what we really are – is a huge mistake. We must own up to our inconsistencies, our dysfunction, and our hypocrisy. We are not perfect, we have not arrived. (Yet we must be diligent to be making progress in our Christ-likeness.)

I also think that it’s true that when a person walks into a church that values authenticity it gives them the freedom to own up to their own brokenness and face their own demons. They are infused with hope that change is possible, that they are not alone, that maybe they have indeed stumbled upon a community where they will be accepted rather than judged and criticized.

We must not wear masks. And we must not punish others when they refuse to wear a mask. To be our genuine self does not necessarily mean that we are happy or content with who we are – just that we are being honest – no pretense – no games.

It’s been said that if we share only strengths we create competition. When we share our weaknesses we create community. Creating such an atmosphere perpetuates further vulnerability and honesty – that’s where healing and deep relationships can begin."

so here's to we - the body of Christ - actually behaving like the body of Christ. . .

"came for the fun, stayed for the grace"

2010-10-17T21:21:00.006-05:00

one of the members of our congregation summed up his family's experience with our UPWARD basketball program with "we came for the fun - and stayed for the grace."

i can't think of a better endorsement of Arlington Countryside Church's commitment to reaching out to our community through the ministry of UPWARD sports. . . check out how you can be a part of this year's exciting season. (this was posted earlier this month on ACC-Leadership Online blog.)

October is Upward Promotion Month

October 1st, 2010

ACC’s Upward Basketball and Cheerleading practices begin in January, but plans have been underway since the summer. This will our seventh year hosting the Upward league, and it is exciting to anticipate its growth. Upward is a self-esteem building, Christ-centered sports program for children in grades 1-6.

On Sunday, October 17, you will hear more about how you can get involved. The challenge is for every person at ACC to be part of Upward in some way- whether coaching, serving as a referee, attending games, advertising, working at the concession stand, or praying. To have a successful season, there are many roles that the church body needs to fill. Will you consider how you can be part of Upward? We welcome your help with small and large jobs!

- In order to recruit players, we need to get the word out. Will you hang a yard sign, invite neighborhood children to play, and distribute brochures?

- If you love basketball, please consider coaching a team or serving as a referee. Games are on Saturdays beginning in late January. God can use your sports knowledge to impact children for eternity!

- If you have an Upward T-shirt, please wear it on Sunday, October 17. Children who have played are encouraged to wear uniforms or jerseys on this date too.
We look forward to your involvement. Please pray for a fun, successful, and God-honoring season!

Guest blogger: Allison Bies

the benefit of having adult children

2010-10-09T10:21:00.002-05:00

dave and i have been in pastoral ministry for over 29 years this year. we have shared with others in the celebration of marriages, babies, graduations, new homes, new jobs, new and renewed faith. we have also shared with others in the loss of marriages, loved ones, promising futures, homes, careers, and faith. and in those times, we have sought to be an encouragement, to be God-with-skin-on for those who are sharing life's journey with us.

with dad corlew passing away this week, we were reminded that there is a time to minister to others and then there is a time to allow others to minister. the hospital chaplin who came to dad's room to share scripture and pray with us pointed out to me that dave's role was that as "son" - not "pastor" to our family. the chaplain was right.

over the last couple of days, friends and family have been right along side of us, encouraging us bringing food and flowers, hugging and listening, sending us cards and messages, and driving down to Joliet to be physically with us for the service. i am more than grateful - i am overwhelmed by their kind words and actions but also by their generosity of time.

yesterday was not only dad's life celebration, but also the 19th anniversary of my mother's death and i couldn't help but think about losing her.

i was 30 and our children were little - between 3 and 7 years old. i cannot tell you what a comfort those kids were to me and to my father. watching them play and fight and make up and ask for another snack was healing. the kids were generous with hugs and kisses and home-made drawings when they realized we were still sad. and having to jump back into the routine of running the house and nurturing them was just what i needed to move on in the grieving process.

i realized today that the benefit of having adult children is that they are adults now and know you almost as well as your spouse. they allowed us to be there for them, to listen, to encourage, to wipe away tears, to hold and to remind them of how God answered papa's prayers. and then, they did the same for us and more. we heard dad corlew's words of wisdom and humor come out of their mouths. . . wow!!!

i am thankful for the heritage dad corlew handed down to all of us. but i am more thankful to see that heritage reflected in the lives of our adult children.

thanks, kids!

the wisdom of a greeting card

2010-10-07T22:07:00.006-05:00

today i sat at the kitchen table with dave while he opened the mail. there were quite a few condolence cards. they were beautiful and many had wonderful messages of comfort - but the thoughtful reflection of one of the cards really caught my attention. it was simple and profound and short. . .

remember the love.
mourn the loss.
celebrate the life.

hopefully, that is exactly what we will be doing tomorrow morning at dad corlew's memorial service.

thank you all for your concern and prayers. we have been truly blessed by the kind words and thoughts of friends and family.

the circle of life

2010-10-06T08:53:00.003-05:00

yesterday was one of those rare experiences where you find yourself serving as witness to the precious last moments of the life of another. most of our immediate family had the privilege, and i do mean privilege, of sharing dave's father's last hours together.

the hospital called and told us that dad corlew was no longer responding and they thought we needed to come immediately. so, throwing off covers and throwing on clothes, and after making calls to family members while brushing teeth and getting ready, we rushed off to be at dad's bedside.

for the next 6 hours we sat in dad's room and talked and cried and reminisced and prayed and cried some more. we didn't know how long he would hold on but it was obvious that his body was tired and spent and that the end was near.

and so dad's number one prayer request - that he would fall asleep and wake up in heaven - was answered. he quietly slipped away leaving us very much aware of how great a debt was owed to a man who lived his life humbly and honestly, loving his wife, his children, and his savior. our lives were richer and our character stronger because of the choices, the million and one little choices he made, day after day, month after month, year after year.

i know that we tend to paint our loved ones with broad strokes of charity and good intentions in our remembrances of them - but for those who knew him, dad corlew doesn't need our help. he was a good man who lived a good life.

during the watching and waiting, dave and i made a quick trip two floors down to the hospital's maternity department. we visited with two new mommies and met their newborn sons. dave and i actually got to hold one of the boys for a few brief moments. how wonderfully fantastic to cuddle a tiny baby - to whisper in his ear how happy we were to finally meet him and grateful that he arrived safe and sound.

with that wee little one in my arms, i found myself overcome with emotion. i suddenly felt the very "realness" of the circle of life. there is birth and then death. and in the middle, there is life and living.

dad corlew's journey was almost over and tiny baby tristan's was just beginning. a vibrant reminder that we should live each day mindful that life is fragile and mortal - an encouragement to live life well, no matter how much time we may have left.

i couldn't help but think of Micah 6:8 - "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

jury duty

2010-10-02T08:53:00.003-05:00

jury duty. . . hmmmm. . . got the notice in mail one summer day – knew it couldn’t be for me. . . i have never ever been called up. (side road – i’ve wondered about that. . . like am i on some list somewhere that says “not normal enough?” - ok, don’t answer that. . . but you know what i mean. . . i lived in the same state for 26 years and one county for like 16 years and no court system was ever interested in my services. i figured that i was off limits for some reason. not exactly miffed about that. . . just feeling curiously unwanted.)

0k, i’m no longer feeling unwanted. . . the notice was for me. it asked me to be available for a certain wednesday – less than a week away (side road #2 – only the worst the possible day to be called up, first of the month, inventory, reports. . . etc., etc.,). but good news, i was only a standby juror - so most likely not even going to make the first cut.

i called the night before on my cell phone. (side road #3 - now let me share that my personal cell phone has always been the “freebie” that comes with the plan – actually i have found it is usually last year’s model voted most likely to double as a door stop thereby becoming our provider's give-away-phone. you definitely get exactly what you pay for with quality.) so i called the number and listened and punched in the courthouse code and found out that i didn’t make the first cut – only people with last names starting with the letters H – T had to actually show up.

ok, i admit i was a little disappointed - but hey, at least i got a notice and i made my one phone call.

so i was talking to a friend later that night and i mentioned my near brush with the rite of passage to “juror” and she said that it was a weird alphabetical cut-off and was i sure i heard right???? of course, i heard right and i was off the hook.

but that bugged me – could i have heard wrong??? nah. no way. i heard what i heard.

i got up the next morning and got ready for work and was just about to walk out the door when i decided to go ahead and call from our neglected and soon to be discontinued land line – just in case.

i called, i listened, i punched in, and heard “only people with last names starting with the letters A – T. . ."

ok, so i notified work and took off for the courthouse.

suffice it to say that after watching the very informative film “You, the Juror” and then sitting around for hours and hours and hours watching most people chit chat, make friends, exchange email addresses, eat vending food while i was going back and forth trying to read Steinbeck’s East of Eden or Chesterton’s Orthodoxy – my name was called and i was handed a check for $17 bucks and some change with a seemingly sincere "thank you."

a couple of things here. . .

one, i shouldn’t use my cell phone for important calls – say jury duty or 911 emergencies.

two, theology and literature are not the best choices for reading material while waiting in seclusion. i’m guessing a People/ Rolling Stones magazine or mindless summer beach fiction would have made more sense.

three, there are a lot of people who have not had the good fortune of being notified of their opportunity for civic duty AND there are a lot of folk who have been notified but never made it into one of the twelve chairs. It’s not just my personality or lack thereof. . .

all in all, it was an experience – just that – an experience.

i no longer feel curiously unwanted - and actually, it’s ok with me if i’m overlooked in the future.

and i still have to finish Othodoxy. . . maybe next week’s doctor appointment. . .

message morphing

2010-08-26T18:13:00.005-05:00

this last weekend i did something i have never done before. . . i spoke at my own church's womenfolk's retreat.

yeah, i too was surprised that i said "yes" when they asked me.

first of all, i personally think "me" (as their senior pastor's wife) taken in smaller doses is a more palatable choice. i am not typical in that before i put on that hat, i was a youth pastor's wife for a heck of long time (20 plus years) and so do not fit the stereotype very well. . . although i do play piano. . .

second of all, i love having guest teachers in -it so cool to see how God orchestrates their teaching with whatever it is that we as a group need at the moment.

and third, and well, probably most importantly - speaking to the ladies i see every week scared the hooey outta me. (side road - when i take the opportunity to speak to outside groups the odds are good that i don't know them and probably won't see them again. odds are also good that i have zero, zip, nada inside scoop on what is going on politically, socially, or metaphysically with the group. i specifically don't ask - cuz i don't want to know. i like them to give me a topic or theme and tell me the meeting's purpose. then it becomes this journey of faith and dependency on God with a lot of study thrown in for good measure. and when it is all over, i am blown away to see how He orchestrated it all together for them.)

anyways, between the time i was asked and the Tuesday before the retreat, i had my messages prepared and read to go. . . the retreat theme was Better2gether and so i went with that. . . big time. . .
1st teaching time - David and Jonathan - Best Friends Forever
2nd teaching time - Peter and Paul - Two sides of the Same Coin (different men, different ministries, same savior)
3rd teaching time - Mary and Martha - Managing Expectations (don't need an explanation on this one, do i?)

gotta admit that i was pretty happy with the results of my labor. . . just one problem. . . was really not sure that this was a good fit for what was a 24 hour retreat. i mean - i had three point outlines, interesting illustrations, one poetic ending, one video clip, and one humorous anecdote about being married to their pastor - nothing too embarrassing - just life. . . i had a nice variety, hopefully something for everyone.

but to make a long story short. . . a 10 hour road trip, a long discussion with dave (as teacher, not my husband), and realizing that the goal of this time away was really about being better2gether as women who worship and work and play together - the messages morphed. . . and then morphed again. . . and again. . . until they bore almost no resemblance whatsoever to the BFF, Coin, and Sister Talks.
1st teaching time - Me, Myself, and Me (Realizing the universe does NOT revolve around moi)
2nd teaching time - Do Unto Others (Loving others like we would love to be loved is much harder and more involved - it is a choice and brings with it inconvenience and baggage)
3rd teaching time - For God so Loved. . . (Understanding that getting over one's self and loving others as they should be loved are totally exhausting and nigh impossible without a relationship with the God who loved us so much that He gave his only son. . . )

bottom line - i needed to hear those lessons because i need to learn and live those lessons. . .

the gift of grieving

2010-07-22T12:18:00.006-05:00

until you have lost someone close you do not really understand.

you can think you do, but until your face hurts from smiling reassuringly as you intone the inevitable "fine" at all those who inquire as to how you are,

until you are wide awake in the wee hours of the morning. night after night - feeling more overwhelming alone than you ever thought possible,

until you realize that you have caught yourself once again following someone in the crowd who for one small moment you believed was your dead mother, father, brother, sister, wife, husband, son, daughter, grandmother, grandfather, cousin, aunt, uncle, fiance, or friend,

until you reach for the phone to call that someone and then realize with a sickening thud in the back of your brain that s/he is not going to pick up ever again,

until you cry because the sun is out and people are laughing and playing,

until you find yourself living each day in numbing exhaustion while holding it together for everyone else,

until then, you do not know.

grief is a process and a very personal one at that. there is no set time schedule to measure against, and there are no magical rituals that relieve the pain.

there is just time.

the shortest verse in the Bible is two short words. . . "Jesus wept."

someone shared that verse with me moments after my mother died. that someone caught me in the hospital hallway and asked point blank if i was a Christian. when i admitted that i was, she proceeded to give me the precious gift of grieving.

she explained how she had just lost her mother and that as a Christian, because we believe in Heaven and eternity AND being a good witness to God's goodness and grace in those times of darkness - it was easy to skip the grieving part of loss altogether.

she then shared the shortest verse saying that Jesus wept knowing full well that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead.

Jesus wept knowing Lazarus would walk out of the tomb into the lovingly astonished arms of his family.

Jesus wept knowing his next conversation with his friend was only a command away. . .

Jesus wept.

Paul cautions us not to grief as the those who have no hope. Paul does not caution us NOT TO GRIEVE.

it is easy to become so focused on heaven and God's goodness that we do not allow the painful reality of death to touch us and we short-circuit the very process that leads to healing.

we end up living a half life while having those around us praise our faith and our witness - this only ends up encouraging us to linger and not move on.

we need to embrace the pain, knowing Jesus knows and understands.

we need to grieve as those who have hope.

we need to accept the gift.

The Emergent Church

2010-06-21T17:35:00.000-05:00

wow - haven't seen anything like this. . .

2010-06-05T21:35:00.000-05:00

IRON BABY

2010-06-01T21:17:00.001-05:00

happy Thursday!!!

2010-05-27T08:15:00.002-05:00

hey, i wanted to wish you a happy Thursday! we all got another one this morning to spend as we like.

some of us will be going to jobs we love - and others, well, maybe not so much. some of us will have sunshine and searing temps, while some will have sunshine and no need to run the a/c. some of us will be dealing with some hard circumstances, the kind that bring the gut punch of reality and take our collective breath away. some of us will be celebrating first steps, a birthday, a promotion, a job, a hard won day of sobriety, a car in the garage, a soldier home, another year of school completed.

there are no extra minutes for good behavior. or an hour subtracted for being a grade A jerk. homicidal maniacs and saints both get the same 24 hours for mayhem or for mercy (and everything in between, of course).

i know that we know :) that it is what we DO with those one thousand four hundred and forty-four minutes that counts. . .

so. . . what are you going to do with your Thursday???

another kind of dumb

2010-05-26T07:25:00.004-05:00

i posted on a different blog an unfortunate incident concerning plugging in my dying laptop and shocking myself silly. . . actually i shocked myself silly twice within oh, about 4 seconds and with all due intent. i couldn't believe i did it, so i did it again. and yes, that was dumb. it got me to thinking about a different kind of dumb, the kind that needs to be addressed every so often. . . so i followed it up with this post. . .

there is another kind of dumb. . . the kind of dumbness that takes over our spiritual lives. . . yep, you guessed it. . . DSD. . the Dreaded Spiritual Dumbness.

DSD can strike anyone at almost any time - although more common in Christ followers who have some years under their belt "doing" the Christian life. DSD creeps in and slowly, insidiously begins to suck the joy right out and leaves a kind of unfulfilling, uninspiring, "ok-ness." gone is the passion, the excitement, the fervor. DSD has claimed another victim.

i have personally suffered from this ailment - more than once even (see there is a tie-in to my last post, you can be dumb more than once in a short amount of time). i woke up one day and realized that i was coasting, no longer walking, coasting, meandering, wandering without a clue. kept reading the Bible, praying, going to church, trying to do all the right things for all the right reasons and knowing that something was missing.

now what did i do about this "missining-ness" once i realized?

nothing - i just read the Bible, prayed, went to church, tried to do all the right things for all the right reasons.

right there was the proof that i was suffering from DSD.

one of my favorite definitions of insanity is this - one from Albert Einstein “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

DSD is a lot like that.

i kept expecting something to change. after all, i was doing something. i was staying busy and pretty much outta trouble ( well, for me at least). AND that dang Holy Spirit was part of this equation wasn't He? And just where was He anyways???

treatment for DSD is easy - TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE!!!!

if you are reading in the New Testament, find some dramatic readings of the Old Testament and listen to them, REALLY listen to them. or grab a couple of friends, go to the park, sit around a picnic table and take turns reading out loud chunks of verses through the book of Mark. take a walk ANYWHERE and listen to worship music that is based on scripture.

at church, find a different seat, far, far away from where you usually sit - scary, i know - but you will probably see and meet some new people, see the same stuff from a new vantage point. if your church has more than one service, attend the one you usually don't. if you usually sing, don't. listen and let the voices flow around you. if you usually don't sing, then sing and make a joyful noise, though you might want to watch the volume on that. . .

shake up your prayer life too!!!! pray with your eyes open. hands open. eyes and hands open. eyes and hands open and standing. laying face down on the floor. praying with a pen and notebook (also called prayer journaling - i highly recommend). praying with a friend. praying with more than one friend. BUT ACTUALLY PRAYING - not just doing the catch-up prayer circle. call your pastor and ask him for some things to pray for. . . current missionary concerns, church finances (this is always on that list it seems), the youth group, the youth pastor. better yet, get the names of a few of the members who don't get out much and go visit them and ask to pray WITH them and FOR them.

there really is no excuse for suffering along with DSD once you've diagnosed yourself.

get out there. . . get moving. . . or quit moving. . . only you know what you've been doing/not doing that hasn't been inspiring you to be more like Christ.

quit being a spiritual retention pond. . . they seem to get stagnant or they dry up. . . choice is yours. . .

Tim Hawkins-Hey There Delilah

2010-05-24T06:31:00.001-05:00

little red sports car and my bucket list

2010-05-22T11:37:00.005-05:00

yes, i have a bucket list. i have called it different things over the years as it kinda evolved with my age and stage in life. and well, to be honest, it has consisted of some fairly insane "things to do before i die. . . "
get a tattoo
get another tattoo
talk someone else into getting a tattoo with me

ok, those are some of the sane, already "done" things :)

seriously, some of the items on my current list. . .

getting a book published (would be easier to to actually attempt if i could figure out a) who my audience would be and b) why in the world would they be interested in laying out hard earned cash for anything i would write)

driving a little red sports car (this should probably be OWNING said "little red sports car" since who in their ever-lovin' mind would want to share it???)

learning Polish/Russian/Chinese OR becoming incredibly proficient in Pig Latin (i have been known on occasion to massacre the english language - imagine how dangerous i would be in another. . . )

finding the cure for gastric cancer (my mom died of it at 57 and i don't mean me personally FINDING a cure - i just meant someone finding a cure for it in my lifetime)

keeping every single area of my home organized AND clean for 30 minutes (in one stretch. . . not 30 minutes of 1 minutes increments, i mean 30 minutes in a row, one after the other. . . probably not going to happen unless i hire a crew to come in while i am on vacation and the 30 minutes is clocked before we get home)

holding my grandchild (this is not a subtle or even an obvious hint for my kids - i just think it would be a cool thing - but then of course, the hint is in the eye of the beholder. . . )

some things i have already checked off. . .

falling in love
marrying a man i could grow old with (and incidentally - same man i fell in love with)
owning a boston terrier
having children (this was an on again off again listing)
owning a cat
being completely caught up with our family's laundry (happened just once in 1997 - never to be repeated - musta have been a fluke of nature or the hand of God)
making more than $XXXXX amount of dollars (this fluctuated a lot!!!)
becoming a home owner (this was before i realized that "becoming a mortgagee" was more accurate)

i wanted to blog about my bucket list because this week i got to check off "driving a little red sports car." and no i didn't have to buy one. . .my husband and my son went section hiking on the AT last week. they grabbed a friend who was up for "a walk in the woods" and took off in one of our Hyundai's. this friend just happens to own a little red Benz. and he happened to let me have it for FIVE glorious days. it was awesome.

although it was a little hard giving it back (after all, the difference is huge between piloting a Benz and putzing around in a golf cart) i surrendured the ????? whatever you call the doohicky that takes the place of a key and then promptly hugged the owner.

i am proud to say i received NO speeding tickets. . . partially due to the fact that i drove 12 miles under the limit. . . yeah, you and i know that's not true. . . let's just say that i prayed a lot. . . and i'm sure the little red sports car's owner did too! :)

Sunday's Coming. . . and it's "Contemporvant"

2010-05-08T16:59:00.001-05:00

"Sunday's Coming" Movie Trailer from North Point Media on Vimeo.

a love story Part II

2010-05-04T06:21:00.000-05:00

hmmmm, seems to me i left off right where it was getting kinda interesting. . . a Christmas brunch, a forgotten camera, and my mother.
it was December, 1990 in Phoenix. my sister and i were unable to make it home that year so our folks were on their own for the holidays. a woman in my parent's Sunday School class had passed away and left her husband very unexpectedly alone at Christmas. her grown children had come in for her funeral and to spend some time with their father.
now my mother, being 100% Polish and therefore genetically predisposed to using her great culinary skills to heal all sorts of ailments, including grief, depression, and loneliness decided to have the family over for comfort food. my parents had just built a steel frame house with a lot of room for some good old world hospitality - and so brunch it was. (much later the widower would tell me how for a little while that day, he enjoyed the food and forgot for a time, the nagging pain in his heart.)
now one of the widower's daughters brought her camera - took some pictures and promptly left it behind. my mother found the camera and realized too late that the owner had already left for home in the Pacific Northwest. so well, she boxed up the camera with a note and sent it on. and from time to time they touched base with each other, my mom wanting the daughter to know that her father was being looked after.
eight months later my mother had died suddenly of misdiagnosed stomach cancer and my father found himself alone for the first time in 36 years.
Kris and i knew that mom had forseen this possibility and had made it very clear that he had her permission to remarry. now there were single women of an appropriate age at church and at his work but i think they were all kinda waiting around for a reasonable and respectable amount of time to pass before making their intentions known. (it was interesting - women i did not know sent me kind notes offering their sympathy and availability to check in on dear old dad, if that would put my mind at ease. . . uhhhh, yeah. . . ).
it was while i was back in Phoenix that November to help dad close my mother's estate that he showed me an interesting letter - a letter from the owner of that forgotten camera. she was writing to share her shock at the suddenness of my mom's passing and sympathy for our family.
she was also writing to introduce her best friend to my father. her best friend living in Denver. . .
my dad showed me the letter and asked me what he should do. . . wow! let me tell you, i took the easy way out and told him to call the best friend. (understand that my mom had only been gone about 6 weeks AND i was not looking forward to having THAT TALK with my dad about how the dating culture had evolved since 1955. besides, this woman was of the right age - old enough to be my mother! - and lived far enough way to ensure this relationship would take some time to develop).
ok, i was right about the age thing but suffice it to say that they officially tied the knot much sooner than the "ladies-in-waiting" thought "reasonable and respectable" - less than 5 months to be exact.
my step mom sold her condo and made a profit large enough to bring her daughters home from Hawaii for the wedding. that was amazing, since she had only made one, yes, only one mortgage payment before she met my dad.
i am not sure how supportive her kids were about this shot gun wedding (ok, there was no shot gun) but Kris and i could see how quickly and deeply they had fallen in love with each other. we gave them our support, our love, and our fierce loyalty.
they have been really good for each other and therefore, really good for us.
and yes, some days it was hard to balance the grief of losing our mom with the truth of our father's happiness. but it was worth making the tough choice, the choice to love a woman who so openly loved our dad.
so yes, this is a love story. . . a family love story. . .

A Tiny Apartment Transforms into 24 Rooms

2010-05-03T09:55:00.000-05:00

a love story Part I

2010-04-26T09:58:00.005-05:00

yesterday my dad and my step mom celebrated 18 years of marriage and i found myself thinking about their wedding and their courtship and how they found each other.

and then i found myself being very, very, grateful that they found each other.

she had been on her own for 12 years after her marriage stopped being a marriage. writing rent checks all those years, she had finally taken the plunge and got her "own" mortgage on her "own" place. she had come to terms with her life. . . fair or not, it was still her life and now she could live that life in something she owned.

and he, well, he had just become an unwilling widower after 36 years of weddedness (i'm pretty sure that is not a word but "wedded bliss" is a cliche with a lot less truth than use. . . ).

my sister and i knew what we had to do when mom died - we took dad out to breakfast and laid down the law. our mother had been pretty emphatic that if anything happened to her, dad was to remarry. she knew him best and we kids wanted to honor her by giving him our blessing.

(side road here - giving a blessing to the remaining parent to remarry while still knee-deep in the grief process is not easy or painless. . . it is an act of will. it is self-less and takes courage - courage on a daily basis. it takes a fierce love and a tremendous amount of trust. my sister, Kris and i had none of that in our heads or hearts that morning in Denney's - let's be honest, we were afraid of mom. if anyone could make it back from the other side, it would be her. . . and she would not have been pleased if we had been stingy with that blessing.)

seriously, all Kris and i knew is that we loved our dad and wanted him to be happy. we had just lost our mom to cancer and we didn't want to lose our dad to a broken heart.

you would think that all it would take at this stage of the game is a chance meeting at church, the grocery store, a favorite restaurant or mutual friends. but you see, he was in Phoenix and she was in Denver. chance meeting at any location was not in the cards.

so how did these two people destined to find love again actually find love again???

well, it all started with a Christmas brunch, a forgotten camera and my mother. . .

Tractor Square Dancing - Go Figure. . .

2010-04-24T11:37:00.000-05:00

Amazing Fire Illusion! How'd they do that???????

2010-04-23T09:33:00.001-05:00

lessons learned in the gym

2010-04-18T20:57:00.002-05:00

ok, i am not a gym rat. . . not even close. . . i'm not even a gym rat wanna-be. although i do own two pairs of gym shoes. . . that's gotta count for something, right??

anyways, i ended up joining a small group (read three women) with a personal trainer (more about her later) for 5 sessions, yep 5 count them. . . what was i thinking??????

obviously i wasn't but i have learned a couple of things. . .

lesson #1
a gym membership is worth nothing unless you actually haul yourself over there AND actually exercise. sweating while sitting in your car in the gym's parking lot on a hot day trying to muster up enough courage to go on in is NOT the same as working up a sweat while exercising inside said gym.

lesson #2
there is no such thing as flattering gym wear when you are overweight and outta of shape (read have too much shape in the wrong places). sooooooooooo stop the "as soon as i find something flattering, i'll go" self talk. . . it ain't happenin' sister.

lesson #3
your personal trainer is NOT your friend. . . let me say that again - your personal trainer is NOT your friend. she is the paid enemy of fat and flab. she is not there to boost your self esteem or help you attain your true center of peace. she is there to help you come to terms with the fact that you are now wearing a first grader around your waist and you're an idiot for not noticing and doing something about it sooner. (and may i remind you - YOU ARE PAYING her to help you come to terms with the fact that you are now wearing a first grader around your waist!!!)

lesson #4
"coming to terms with the fact that you are now wearing a first grader around your waist" involves PAIN. yes, it does. so i have become a big fan of ben gay, icy hot, aleve liquid gels, ice packs, and bags of frozen vegetables (frozen peas preferably - when i have used up all the instant and re-usable ice packs). i'm not a big fan of pain but i'm a realist and if a small amount of pain due to locating and using muscles i didn't even know i owned will have some health benefits, well then, i will continue to make numerous trips to walgreen's in search of more and better pain reducing products. besides, all my purchases - however small, but numerous - have to be helping to jump start the economy, right???

anyways, the good news - i'm afraid of my personal trainer and that fear has motivated me to stick to my diet and exercise more. (it has also given me nightmares and tension headaches. but taking the aleve liquid gels for the muscle inflammation seems to be helping with the tension headaches).

i'll let you know how it goes. . . two sessions down, three to go. . .

7,500 Online Shoppers Unknowingly Sold Their Souls

2010-04-16T09:02:00.002-05:00

FOXNews.com - 7,500 Online Shoppers Unknowingly Sold Their Souls

it's make you wonder who else has claims to our immortal souls. . .

Posted using ShareThis

Schoolhouse Rock- How a Bill Becomes a Law

2010-03-20T13:02:00.001-05:00

just thought we needed reminding. . .

stress relief as the snow is melting

2010-03-12T08:11:00.008-06:00

i'm not sure what this says about me. . . but every year i make sure i find this and use it as a stress reliever.

it has 4 characters with microscopic plot lines and interactions, annoyingly perky music and the ability for the observer to get involved. . . to shake up their world. . . literally.

i know it way past the holiday season but thought maybe some of you might need a laugh or two. . . i know i do.

Enjoy the Snowglobe.

If you can resist the temptation to shake it. . . the music actually stops and you can listen to just the sounds of the sledding, punching, shoveling, and yodeling. . . until you shake it. . .then of course, the screaming and music begin once again.

Tim Hawkins Scary Bedtime Prayer

2010-03-08T11:46:00.001-06:00

yep, this explains a whole lot about nightmares and bad dreams. . .

the church's unsung heroes

2010-03-03T09:26:00.005-06:00

over the years i have had a front row seat, eagerly watching how and by whom church is done. sometimes it has been enlightening and sometimes it has been well, a little frightening. but no matter where i sat myself down for a church service - pew or chair - sanctuary/auditorium or gym or grassy field - with or without drums - organ present or awol - praise team or the solitary, suited, song leader - i benefited from the unsung heroes of the church.

they serve with no seeming need for the spotlight or the fan club.

they just serve.

she washes any stray dishes that mysteriously show up in the kitchen area after the meet and greet coffee time is over and done with. every week she shows up after the last service and doesn't leave until the counters are sparkling and free of mugs, pitchers, plates, and whatever else was used and left for the super-secret scientific mold-growth experiments covertly taking place at churches across the country.

he arrives at church before the service, usually BEFORE most of the musicians to open up, start a nice warm, inviting fire in fireplace, and greet everyone with a smile.

he coaches a boys basketball team. she teaches Sunday School. they both send post cards and make phone calls during the week to make sure the kids know they matter.

she worked in the nursery - soothing crying babies and their moms both. every week she was on the schedule there seemed to be a visitor family with a colicky infant that was beyond comfort. . . until she stepped in.

she sends notes of appreciation and encouragement to the pastor and his wife with a scary sense of timing. she is a strong prayer warrior for the body even though many of the congregation do not know of her commitment to them and the church.

as a couple, they embody hospitality - opening their home and their hearts to those who need encouragement or just a little time catching their breath in the great outdoors, enjoying God's country with it's wizened trees, beautiful wild and tame flowers, and the dance of the humming birds.

she is not in the best of health herself - maybe that is why she is committed to make the hospital visit, take someone to the doctor, line up a meal or a speed clean team to help out when sickness strikes. people who are healthy probably don't know her super hero identity.

he anonymously makes sure finances don't keep a student from the mission field. no one would suspect him of this generosity - money is tight but this is his act of love.

he listens. she prays. they clean. he repairs. they cook. she sings.

they just serve.

the church is not the "service" that takes place for one hour on a Sunday.

the church is the service of its members.

"and they'll know we are Christians by our love. . . "

Olympic Pictograms Through the Ages - Video Feature - NYTimes.com.flv

2010-03-03T01:56:00.001-06:00

I was distraught when the Olympics ended. . . one minute i was watching the beginning of the end of the Vancouver Games - and the next, well, a new show called The Marriage Ref showed up. . . maybe i missed something. . . tom papa sitting in for bob costas as we watched the agony of marriage gone weird and bad. . . anyways, i realized i needed Olympic closure.
brief but fun history of Olympic Pictograms was the answer.
i thought this was cool. . . hope you enjoy it.

THE TURKEY COMMERCIAL!!!

2010-03-01T11:32:00.001-06:00

well, the answer is simple. . . buy a smaller bird.

something fun

2010-02-26T08:07:00.002-06:00

thought you might enjoy a little fun - since it is Friday and all. . .
please visit this link http://balldroppings.com/js/ - make sure you're volume is turned up a bit and go crazy and draw some lines. . . i love this site and no matter how much of a grump when i start drawing - well, i'm a lot less of a grump when i walk away. . .

the parent of an adult

2010-01-29T09:59:00.004-06:00

my son came home from a 7 day road trip to and from California last Tuesday.

(SIDE ROAD - he recently moved back with dave and i for a short term. let's be honest here - the son has California written all over him - i can see where this is all going so i know that each day he is here with us now is a gift worth treasuring. but he had to go back to finish up some work and then enjoy the weather and the friends - hence the road trip.)

he is almost a foot taller than i am and i can't use "boy" as an adjective anymore - just a term of endearment. but when he walked through the door this week sicker than a dog, well, i was hit with by a force so strong, that it sucked the air right outta of my lungs.

(SIDE ROAD - i have been laid low with a sinus infection that recruited my lungs, throat, and well, the rest of me to stage a sit-down strike. it would have been a lay-down strike but i had so much congestion that any time my head hit a pillow, i started to suffocate. . . so i spent waking and sleeping hours in a recliner for the most part. so the "sucked the air right outta of my lungs" while seemingly a gross exaggeration was in fact partly due to there not being a whole lot of air in my lungs to begin with.)

i was heart sick looking at him. so i did what mothers have done for time and all eternity - i lovingly force-fed tea, otc drugs, and popsicles down his throat with a strong showing of maternal nagging thrown in for good measure.

he is a grown man and i treated him like he was four. ok, maybe five.

I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!!!!!!!!!

i would like to believe that my weakened physical condition led to a greater sensitivity to the realm of sentimentality - but let's face it. . . even though i broke myself of the spit on kleenex/wipe the kid's face habit years ago, i am a mom. a mom who has willingly and purposefully laid her super hero costume and her powers in moth balls. . . but in a moment of weakness, i gave into the POWER OF BEING NEEDED.

(SIDE ROAD - you moms-of-adult-children know what i mean - any time you go out in public and end up over-hearing the conversation between a child and his parent - your "kiddie lie detector" flips on and you catch yourself in "mommy law enforcement" mode. a lost and crying child and you're back there in less than a blink. siblings doing the rivalry thing, the dropping of a cherished stuffed toy, small, strident, high pitched whining for any reason and it is all she wrote. and AFTER feeling that surge of power, you smile to yourself realizing that small bender and breaker of rules and hearts is some else's responsibility today!)

although i meant well in my attempts at the art of healing, it wasn't until doctor who also meant well AND could back it up by writing him a prescription for antibiotics that he started feeling better.

well, this isn't the first time a doctor and i have joined forces on a case. . . and it probably won't be the last. but next time, i will behave myself.
ok, i will try to behave myself.
ok, i will promise to try to behave myself.
ok, this is useless. . .
i will just start praying that nobody in our family gets sick ever again. yeah, that should work. no temptation - no giving into temptation. . .

and um, to my family, i'm very sorry for past neurotic behavior. . . although you should all probably pray for good health as well. . . just in case. . .

Christmas Eve

2009-12-24T07:04:00.003-06:00

at one of my jobs i have made it a habit to make sure i wish everyone a "Happy ________ " - filling in the blank with whatever day of the week it happens to be. so Happy Monday! Happy Tuesday! Happy Wednesday!. . . you get the point.

there are a couple of people, i think the same ones who despise the "good morning" ritual as being presumptuous (it IS morning. . . really to early to tell whether it is good or not), who have mentioned that "Happy Monday!" is a lie straight from the pit of Hell. there is nothing happy about having to be back at work. "Happy Friday!" is the exclamation point at the end of long, dry sentence. "Happy Monday!" is nothing more than a painful reminder of an entire workweek to come.

so i have borrowed from Christmas Eve's wonderment to help ease us into the next day. i now wait until after 1:00pm on the offending Monday so that i may wish a heart-felt "Happy Tuesday's Eve!" (this is also quite useful in tiresome weeks where Friday seems to be playing hide and seek. . . there is nothing like an entire Thursday afternoon of "Happy Friday's Eve!" to encourage all that Friday is inevitably on its way and SOON!"

i say all that to say this. . .
it is Christmas Eve today. for me, a small "catch your breath" moment before the big showy arrival of a people-packed, gift-giving, feast-laden Christmas day. i love attending the quieter, reflective 11:00pm church service. a group of people come together to welcome the Christ child with new candles and old songs and really old scripture - all speaking to our hearts about God's love come down at Christmas - technically, tomorrow.

so i wish you a very merry, Happy Christmas Eve!

p.s. tomorrow is FRIDAY AND CHRISTMAS!!!

Charlie Brown Christmas

2009-12-23T08:46:00.001-06:00

couldn't have said it better than a cartoon. . .

The Invisible Woman

2009-12-22T09:06:00.001-06:00

at this time of year - especially - just wanted to remind us all who we work for. . .

Christmas in January

2009-12-21T10:01:00.010-06:00

maybe my circle of influence has an inordinate amount of scrooges as members or maybe i just caught everyone on a bad day- scratch that - a bad WEEK or maybe this is a small indicator that Christmas this year is not a Christmassy as years past. that there are a lot more people having to work at getting into the yuletide spirit than those who are just basking in it. . .

i think this downward trend in the economics of merriment can be attributed to an over-saturation of the market place strategy to bring Americans the opportunity to buy all the trappings of Christmas earlier in the calendar year.

in other words. . .
STOP HARKING CHRISTMAS WARES IN OCTOBER - right after the going-back-to-school sales!
PUT CHRISTMAS BACK WHERE IT BELONGS - right after the non-commericalized "Turkey Day" and right before the much needed "Bring on the new year."

we could all deal with the roughly 4 weeks from Thanksgiving to Christmas. it was crunch time - we all knew it and were committed to cramming as many parties, brunches, services, and get-togethers as we could squeeze around those LIMITED number of shopping days.

with a limited number of shopping days - there were real-time expectations of what one could and could not accomplish (please exclude that suzy snowflake in your circle of friends who now raises her own ginger in her year-round indoor aero-garden for her exquisitely designed and crafted gingerbread houses and men, and women, and children, and all the inhabitants of the North Pole, and all the creatures and animals in the last Narnia movie whether they could talk or not. she is an anomaly and cannot be included in our calculations to determine average level of festive expectation).

LIMITED number of shopping days = LIMITED amount of expectations.

i only have X amount of money to spend on Christmas. especially in this economy, i have to practice economy. giving me more days to spend my money and thus the opportunity to blow the whole shabang early in the game only leads to me having more time to brood over what i have already spent and get miserly with what i have left. . . and leading to unrealistic expectations that the retailers should lower their prices yet again and again and again as the holiday d-day approaches.

i admit, i am stressed out. i shouldn't be. over the last few years, we have down-scaled our merry-making, cookie baking, gift giving, card sending Christmas - trying to remind ourselves what is important - focusing on the real reason of the season. but this year i have found myself getting caught up in the negativity instead of the nativity. and that's nobody's fault but mine. so i am not going to read, watch or listen to the daily news (the federal deficit doesn't need my attention or approval to continue to "deficit"). instead i am going to surround myself with friends and family who don't mind my protective killer dust bunnies under the couch or the lack of this year's hottest decorations. . .

on the other hand. . . this week a friend told me that with all the stress of planning an awesome celebration and everyone's hectic schedules and tight budgets, her work is having The Holiday Party in January so everyone can enjoy it. . .

Silent Monks Singing Halleluia

2009-12-18T06:12:00.001-06:00

wow! silient monks and the Halleluia Chorus. . . just goes to prove if you wanna do something bad enough - you will figure out a way. . .

Suzy Snowflake

2009-12-17T06:16:00.001-06:00

ok, since someone brought Suzy Snowflake up, i'd thought i'd share. . . can't believe how very simple this was and how much it kept our attention. . .

Hardrock, Coco and Joe: The Three Little Dwarfs

2009-12-16T08:39:00.002-06:00

as a kid growing up in the Chicago suburbs this was always a favorite. . . not like today with instant viewing - but back when you had to commit some serious time to watching and waiting and hoping and crossing your fingers that this would be the day it would be shown on Garfield Goose. . . if you were lucky, your friends might even be over and get to watch it with you. . .

football

2009-12-15T09:18:00.005-06:00

i didn't understand the game of football AT ALL until my freshman year in college.

it was a long ways from my home in the Arizona desert to the frozen tundra - home of the Chicago Bears. but it was not long before i realized that these Chicago fans would risk life, love, limb, and frostbite to see a game at Soldier Field and breathe in the same air as DA BEARS. (ok, this was in the late 70's BEFORE our superbowl win in the 80's. we had payton - thee walter payton - but we were having quarterback issues back then too.)

i sat through a couple of Bears games in a crowded room being the only girl there and desperately trying to figure out what the heck a "down" was and why there were four of them. the game made no sense to me. and although i loved spending time with dave, i had entered the sacred shrine of male sports and it was fast becoming obvious when i didn't have the correct reaction to the play on TV that i was a football fan fake and worse - a Bears fan imposter.

i finally broke down and admitted to dave my failings as a girl friend and a human being - i did not understand the game of football.

he was stunned. i had attended numerous football games during high school. surely i picked up some of the rules. NOPE.

i was a member of the elite, disciplined, enthusiastic high school marching band. yes, we provided a stunning half time show but we also played appropriate snippets of songs during appropriate pauses in the game.

come on, who can forget the appropriately applied alka seltzer's "plop, plop, fizz, fizz - oh what a relief it is. . . " . or KC and the Sunshine Band's "oh, that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, i like it, uh-huh, uh-huh."

we roused the fans and the players with our enthusiasm and our nicely placed references to pop culture. i didn't have time to understand the finer points of football - i was helping to create the ambiance of the much sought after WIN.

after much hair pulling, teeth gnashing, and name calling - dave finally instilled the football novice's rules of the game. i could now watch football and not make a fool of myself or him. surprisingly, i found out that i like the game.

this did get me thinking that every day people participate in things they maybe don't fully understand. and maybe they don't want to admit they don't understand. like church. . .

i spent a lot years on Sunday mornings, sitting on the piano bench (and in this case "sitting on the bench" actually means you ARE playing in the "game") actively participating but not quite understanding the whole God sent his Son as a baby. . . wrapped in human flesh. . . becoming one of us. . .

i didn't truly understand until someone looked past my years of participating and asked me if i knew that "God so loved karen, that he gave his one and only son, so that if karen believed. . . "

so, being at the stadium and cheering your guts out doesn't prove that you really understand football any more than going to church and sitting through the service proves you know God loves you.

name tag baggage

2009-12-14T07:06:00.004-06:00

i hate name tags. . . well not the idea of name tags or name tags themselves. . . i hate the placement of name tags - always have.

i remember one of the first times i had to wear one as a kid. i was a visitor at a Sunday School and they gave me a very cool looking name tag and told me to put it right where i would place my hand when saying the Pledge of Allegiance - over my heart.

i thought that was weird.

i thought the palm of my left hand would be a much better place. i could just wave "hi" and flash my name at the same time. if i wanted to answer the sure-to-be-coming bible story questions - the teacher would see my name tag on my raised hand and call me by name - i would just have to remember to raise my left hand instead of my usual right.

i took too long thinking about where to place the name tag so the teacher did it for me.

it didn't take too long for my name tag to find its way to my left hand. as soon as that was noticed, the teacher carefully put it back where it belonged.

soon the name tag was on my right hand and even sooner - it was back - plastered to my chest.

i looked at the teacher. she looked at me. i nodded in acknowledgment that this was over. she smiled acknowledging that i was now acknowledging the correct placement of said name tag.

and then my name tag mysteriously disappeared. "we" looked for it on the floor, under the table, in my bible (i would never have desecrated my bible by sticking a name tag to one of its pages), and under my chair. but it was gone.

but it really wasn't a problem.

the teacher had my name memorized the second time she had to help my name tag find it's way back to it's spot. the other girls in my class remembered my name too.

the teacher made a point of meeting my parents. she told them about the name tag.

on the way home they asked me about it and i tried very hard not to lie while peeling it off the bottom of my left shoe.

as a kid i thought the over-heart-placement was dumb. as an adult i think it is even dumber.

i like the idea of small name tags worn on our foreheads. i only get to know what your name is should i choose to talk to you or you choose to talk to me. i can look at your forehead and then your eyes and engage in meaningful conversation.

and isn't that the point. . .

walking the valleys

2009-11-09T10:35:00.002-06:00

i have friends going through difficult, hard, yucky times. . . and not because of poor decision making. . . it's just life. . . no one's fault, no one's goof. . . just life.

and i have found myself saying over and over to them and myself that "there are no good words to make this better." and that is the truth.

being a Christ follower doesn't exempt one from problems - no matter what the televangelists spout.

but being a Christ follower does mean walking with each other through those valleys.

really walking.

the inconvenient kind of walking. . . making time, meals, and way for someone in the very thick of it.

being available. being vulnerable. being flexible.

really it's like being God with skin on for someone.

it is easier to walk other's valleys after someone has walked with us through one of our own. . .

i am grateful today for those friends and family who chose to do the hard thing, the difficult thing and walk with me through my valleys.

are you walking through a valley today?

are you alone?

making time to make change

2009-11-02T09:25:00.007-06:00

i thought that being empty nesters who are well aware of the fact that there is only us empty nesters either messing up or picking up, the house should stay relatively clean. i was wrong.

while it has stayed picked up in some areas and clean in others, it has not stayed picked up AND clean anywhere. i do not function well in messiness and where it is obvious that what is lacking is lacking on my watch. so i made time over the weekend to set up my flipper system.

(Side Road: a while back i wrote about different methods to help with living life in a comfortable home - read "how to keep your house clean while raising children, pets, husbands, and plants without losing what's left of your mind" - please look up the old post OR better yet. . . check out this link THE FLIPPER SYSTEM).

i had purchased The Flipper a while back knowing that i needed to make time to set it up. but i have been more than busy and perhaps just a wee bit tired lately from all that extraneous busy-ness. (more about that later). looking back, i realize that i had considered The Flipper being a sort of lucky rabbit's foot (and yes, i see the irony in a rabbit's foot being anything but lucky for its original owner). i somehow believed that the newly purchased Flipper System nicely installed in a place of honor on my home office desk would somehow ward off wretched dirt gremlins and the evil dust bunnies (that dust bunnies do not "protect" one's stuff was a myth that died hard in this home).

but waking up to the fact that those housework elves advertised to clean while you sleep have never made an appearance in the last 28 years and therefore, cannot be counted out to show up now - was both freeing and motivating (read "a gentle kick in the keester") - so i set aside some time and set up The Flipper.

and that's what it came down to. . . making time to make change.

i set it up on Saturday and put it into play on Sunday. it is now Monday, and things are manageable and measurable. and most importantly, my brain has stopped hurting!!!

i'll let you know how it goes. . . or maybe i'll let dave let you know how it goes. . .

God Playing Tennis Commercial

2009-10-26T22:45:00.001-05:00

well, i hadn't thought about it. . . but God must have an awesome tennis game. . .

the love of numbers can get a person in trouble

2009-09-02T21:38:00.007-05:00

i love numbers. always have, always will. and it has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion.

i had fresh green beans from Indiana when my folks were here this summer. and it got me thinking about how sometimes a person should keep her ever lovin' mouth shut when it comes to number crunching and "canning."

a group of women at our first church asked me to come and spend an afternoon "canning beans" with them. i was excited but massively unprepared for what i walking into.

"canning beans" meant
picking the beans - from the actual bean plant nestled in the dirt of the garden (and there are bugs in that there garden - more than you would suspect). (side road - and may i just point out that my dad's vegetable garden was big - this farm wife's vegetable garden was the size of Rhode Island.)

washing the beans we just picked off that bean plant nestled in the dirt of that bug infested garden (and yes, i am aware that some of those bugs are really a valuable part of the ecosystem that is a garden).

snapping the beans - and yes, there IS a CORRECT way to SNAP those beans we just picked off that bean plant nestled in the dirt. . . and size does matter here in the world of snapping beans. . . i was surprised to know there was a canning standard as well as personal preference.

filling the "canning jars" with the beans that we had just picked off those bean plants. . . and don't kid yourself here, there are some steps involved in preparing the "canning jars" that i was not privy to, but was told they are important to the process.

adding boiling water to the "canning jars" filled with green beans from the bean plant nestled in the garden. . .

cooking those beans in the "canning jars" placed in a scary, hissing pressure cooker pot. ( i think that the hissing sound could end up being a comforting sound, if exposed to it enough times and if you could associate the hiss with the great taste of home canned green beans.)

you can see where i'm going with this, right? my mind wandered a bit and i stated thinking about. . .
x = number of women involved
y = number of hours spent in process
x times y times $ (minimum wage) divided by the number of quarts "put up" - canning speak for "canned" - gives us "z", cost per quart.
cost per quart against sale price of store bought, generic, canned green beans.
sale price of store bought, generic, canned green beans are cheaper (obviously, i did not take quality or taste into consideration).

and i, of course, pointed this out - pretty much out loud to the group of lovely women - completely missing the point of spending an afternoon canning green beans with friends.

spending time with friends - priceless.

spending time with friends in the great outdoors, picking vine-ripened vegetables out of one of the participants very own "Rhode Island big" vegetable garden - priceless.

spending time with friends in the great indoors, snapping and canning those vegetables while sharing bits of each others lives - priceless.

spending time with friends knowing that during the winter each of you will be sharing a bit of that summer's afternoon with her family over a Sunday dinner of pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, and home baked dessert to follow - priceless.

i guess what i'm trying to say is. . . if you are ever invited to an afternoon of canning. . . the dirt, the bugs, the beans, the hissing pot, the friendship, the comraderie, and the little bit summer you just captured in that canning jar. . .

don't "do the math" - just enjoy the moment.

and if you do "do the math". . . for heaven's sake, keep it to yourself!

i'm committed. . .

2009-08-26T10:26:00.005-05:00

so i mentioned that i have been making an effort to stop being such a couch potato and get my body moving again. but did i mention that i don't have much to work with???

this is an almost-50-year-old version of a body that has been somewhat shabbily taken care of except for the 36 months or 3 years - whichever sounds worse - that were committed to 4 non-easy-breezy pregnancies followed by hours and hours and hours of labor getting those children here!!

yeah, no. . . a combined 7 hours of labor between 4 births. . . i exaggerated a tad. . .

but i do not exaggerate the fact that i have used and abused and basically ignored my standard issued human suit - only checking in with it on the rare occasions it acted up. i hate doctors and their offices and their hospitals so the ignoring part was and is easy.

two years ago i noticed that i started to make those noises in the mornings that my parents made. . . you know, the moaning and groaning that comes outta nowhere as you hoist yourself up and out of your very comfy bed. . . yeah, those. bad sign. really bad sign if you are in "middle aged" denial. it has only gone downhill from there. i stood on the sidelines, watching in mortifyingly, bored fascination as my young self morphed into my not-so-young self and then again into my never-going-to-be-young-again self.

so today, i take full responsibility for the condition - or is that non-condition that i have found myself in. BUT this is the first time in my married and mommied life i feel like i can make the time to take the time to invest in my health. sad, i know.

young mothers, do not do as i and so many women who have gone before you have done. . . living our harried parental lives by the mommy martyr creed - "i have given my life for my children, sacrificing everything including my size 2 jeans, to provide them with a good and safe and happy childhood. . . and delicious, nutritious meals and snacks. . . and a moderately priced but miraculously "in" wardrobe influenced by whatever sports or music idol they are aspiring to be. . . and a car and driver available at the whim of their schedules. . . oh, yeah, and an almost clean but comfortable home."

forsaking our own health club memberships in the quest to be the perfect mommies, we laid ourselves on the sacred altar of martyrdom and waited around to see if anyone noticed.

ok, no one noticed and now i find myself carrying around the pound-for-pound equivalent of a small kindergartner around my waist and hips.

so i am committed to sweating - and yes, i said the "S" word- 5 nights a week. and no, it is not to get back in shape. . . i have a "shape" and while i am not particularly fond of it, i am pretty convinced it is my density. :)

i am committed to my walking/jogging/staggering routine because
a. it feels soooooooooo good when the time is up and i get back in my car and drive home.
b. nothing, and i mean nothing reminds me of the mind-numbing, body exhaustion of being "mommy" to a brood of delightfully energetic pre-schoolers like dragging myself around a two mile loop of asphalt TWICE in this almost 50 year old body at the end of long, hard day.

Zoom Episode one - intro

2009-08-24T23:38:00.001-05:00

for those who are old enough to remember this kid's show from the 70's. . . who can forget "ubbie dubbie" and musical numbers like "the cat came back?"

AcTs - Armchair Theologians

2009-08-24T11:20:00.002-05:00

it has been a bit since i last wrote about the AcTs group. we meet semi-regularly at Panera or one of our homes. we get together after having read the current selection and discuss it from a theological standpoint. sometimes it is easy to see the correlation. . . The Idea of the Holy by Rudolph Otto. and sometimes maybe not-so-much. . . The Green Mile by Stephen King.

we have discussed The Shack by William P. Young and the Book of Judges from the Old Testament. and currently, we are set to tackle The Celtic Way of Evangelism by George G. Hunter and then Robert Briner's book Roaring Lambs.

the point is to get in a habit of talking about God and the relationship between Him and humankind. it's about developing a correct world view. whether or not you acknowledge having a world view - you have one. and it determines the way you look at your life and ultimately, the choices you make that determine your life.

getting together with others and reading through a book and then discussing it is a great way to challenge your own thinking. especially if you can find people smarter than yourself!

so pick a book and go find some smart friends!

off to the zoo

2009-08-22T07:27:00.002-05:00

ok, the last time i visited the zoo was back in the 80's. children were very small. hair was very big. we had a good time.

we moved shortly thereafter to a town that boasted a SIX FLAGS GREAT AMERICA theme park less than 10 minutes away. i am guessing that close proximity to rides, candy, and large puppet headed cartoon characters won out over no rides, candy, and live animals in their natural habitat. we never did go back to that zoo.

i think that was probably an error in my parenting. . . puppet heads or live animals. . . i should have taken them to the zoo.

today one of our kids and her husband are taking dave and i to the zoo. times have changed.

125 or 126 shopping days until Christmas - depends on whose counting

2009-08-21T07:48:00.000-05:00

the nest is empty. . .

2009-08-20T08:22:00.006-05:00

it was 1996 and i was standing in my kitchen washing dishes, contemplating life and how lovely it was raising four creatively different children. praying for each kid as i washed up his/her plate from lunch. . .

yeah, right. while i was grateful for our brood of delightfully imaginative and very individualistically wired progeny, who came into our lives brilliantly disguised and packaged as small, cute, harmless newborns - i was also aware of the difficulty and exhaustion factors of allowing the number of said progeny to now hold house majority status. dave and i were outnumbered every day and outsmarted most days.

so, there i was, standing in front of the sink, doing the dishes, fuming that the dishwasher was on strike - again, wondering how an intelligent couple like us could have let this shift of power happen, when he walked in and asked "kar, do you realize we could be empty nesters in like 11 years?"

you would think i would laughed, hugged him, and then quickly did the math to figure out the approximate number of days left in this adventure into madness. but i did what for me was surprising. . . i started crying. . . hard and loud. . . because i realized that 11 years wasn't nearly enough time for those wonderful, God-given little blessings to finish raising dave and i. it wasn't nearly enough time for them to discover how much we loved them and were grateful that we were family. it wasn't nearly enough time.

over the years, dave and i have looked back and laughed over that incident. and i admit - i have done the math a couple of times. . . really. but it has actually been 13 years between that day and E-day. and i can tell you honestly, 13 years was both not nearly enough and just about right.

dave and i are better people, parents, and Christ-followers because of our kids and the wonderful job they did in teaching us how to major on the majors and minor on the minors. so i want to publicly thank you children for that.

thanks, kids!

oh and just one more thing. . . could you all return any and all housekeys you might still have in your possession back to your father and i asap?

AWOL for a season

2009-08-19T11:33:00.006-05:00

i have been AWOL for a short season this summer because of

- son coming home for a week - surprising Dave and i (i now have more gray hair - i wonder if i can blame it on that????)

- my parents spending the very next week with us - short stay, had to pack a lot in and spend time catching up (i don't get to see them very often, usually i am flying home for dad's unexpected surgery. . . upside. . . he always thinks of his daughters braving the frigid winters of Wyoming and Illinois and "schedules" those unexpected hospital stays for February and March.)

- anticipation of empty-nesting. . . getting all the baby birds' schtuff to them and out of my nest (not as successful at this as hoped. . . realized that above mentioned schtuff didn't belong to the babies. . . was my schtuff all along. . . )

- creative writing project. . . or is that projectS???? (began outlining children's books i want to write for my grandkids - ok, yes. . . Dave and i have no grandkids at the present time. . . and there are none on the way either. . . but i got to thinking about writing a book for each of my kids, starring each of them as the major character. a book highlighting the adventures shared by that particular child and dave and i. and when the time comes, a book they can share with their children as they experience their own joys of parenthood. ok, revenge and parental payback have never entered my mind. . . the creative writing aspect has been very therapeutic for me. . .)

- i started working a second part-time job (do i need to say anything else here?)

- getting youngest daughter ready for out-of-state move and college. (that is really not that true. she got her own self ready. . . i just spent a lot of emotional energy imagining helping her to get ready for the out-of-state move and college.)

- committing 1.5 hours a night to stretching, walking, jogging, staggering, walking, stretching, and cooling down while enjoying nature at the local Lake Arlington path. (who am i kidding? i'm 48 and out of shape. . . end of sentence. coolness factor - total God-thing. . . my next door neighbor who is a lot younger and more in shape agreed to this journey into sweat and insanity. . . and on the other hand. . . i did buy myself an IPOD shuffle and have it brimming with the musical encouragement of QUEEN's "we will rock you and we are the champions". . . of course, "another one bites the dust" is also on there. . . )

so i'm back. . . frazzled, leaner (not so much) and meaner (definitely much more so), and ready to blog on a wide variety of topics. . . meryl streep as Julia Child, empty nesting as a life choice, creative quiet times while soaking in epsom salt baths, and the new Harry Potter movie. . . just to mention a few.

Happy Wednesday!

JK Wedding Entrance Dance

2009-07-24T16:09:00.001-05:00

Evian Roller Babies US

2009-07-08T09:39:00.001-05:00

it's cool!
but will i actually buy more evian water???

"Drop the gun. Bring the cannoli." (Peter Clemenza in The Godfather)

2009-06-23T08:49:00.007-05:00

last week was one of those weeks. . . i had a lot schtuff on my plate and i was trying to work through my son's sudden move to California. plus i was living in a bit of mess. . . at one point this month i had 4 love seats, a microwave, a hope chest (now there is a post!!!!), and a gazelle in my living room (no, not the real life animal gazelle. . . the Tony Little Gazelle exercise thingamajig) plus a wide assortment of boxes. you'd be surprised how much havoc one kid moving back home and one kid moving away from home can bring.

i had the domino affect going on too - one love seat needed to go to church (youth group room), one love seat needed to go to one married daughter's home, one Gazelle needed to go to other's daughter's home but couldn't go until she and her husband closed on their new place and moved. the microwave was sent to replace grandparent's unit that was at least as old as the kid that moved out - and the boxes. . . well, the boxes and the hope chest were waiting on closet in the newly vacated bedroom which i didn't want to mess with because. . . well, i didn't want to face it.

in the midst of all that, along came a friend with cannoli. and that was the turning point in my week. not that she brought my favorite Italian dessert - but that Sherry cared.

great dessert, phenomenal friend.

tattoos. . . plural even

2009-06-22T09:49:00.004-05:00

i love tattoos. so much of the time they represent a milestone in the host's life. . . a pictorial of a watershed moment. . . a memorial to a person, a pet, a dream.

i was at a beach 9 years ago when i noticed a young woman reading a book while sun bathing. from time to time people walking along would stop and talk to her. she didn't seem to mind the intrusions - she would chat for a few minutes and then dive back into her book. this really intrigued me. was she someone famous? was she selling something? what was the deal with her?

just as my imagination was beginning to kick in i noticed that the book-woman was now conversing with a bunch of people and the conversation was beginning to look like some kind of weird dance. . . an arm was extended, then a another. . . and then another and another. . . what were they doing? then one person turned away from the group and even book-woman stood up and joined the clump. . . then the person turned back to the clump and began speaking for about 3 minutes then a lot of questions seemed to pop up and they were answered with more arm movements and half twirls. . . and then suddenly - i got it!!!

it WAS an interpretive dance troupe involved in performance art on our little local beach. . . how exciting!

nope, it was actually people admiring body art, listening for the inspiration behind the tattoos - sharing bits and pieces, important bits and pieces of lives lived.
it was camaraderie.
it was trusting complete strangers with life stories.
it was fun and deep and as fleeting as the waves on the sand.

we all walked away, not knowing each other's names but having shared a sacred moment where we were not defined by the cars we drove, the addresses of the places we called home, or even the very clothes on our backs. . . we were defined by the shared experiences of loss, and hope, and living in the moment. we were humans connected by ink.

well, they were connected by ink. . . i didn't have a tattoo to show. . . but i knew i had a story to tell.

i got my first tattoo shortly after. a cross that couldn't be taken off and on at whim. a cross that came with a small amount of discomfort - nothing, absolutely nothing compared to what the Savior endured. a cross that reminded me of the cost, the sacrifice, the love of Creator God for humanity.

i know tattoos are not for everyone. . .

but sharing our stories is. . .

what are you doing to share yours?

"think 3 syllables, not 2"

2009-06-18T06:00:00.001-05:00

yesterday i wrote or typed the word "Wednesday" a couple of hundred times. . . i end most of my correspondence - email, voice mail, snail mail - the same way. . . "happy whateverthedayoftheweekitis!!!" so yesterday was a "happy Wednesday!" day - hence the couple of hundred times.

i went to school back in the dark ages when teachers were respected and if you got in trouble at school. . .well. . . let's just say most of us got in twice as much trouble when we got home.

i will never forget my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. M. she was older than my mom, dressed very fashionably, and ran a very tight ship. but she gave out candy rewards for those who did their best. kids who struggled got rewards for working hard even if they if they had trouble keeping up.

most of all though, i remember that Mrs. M helped me learn how to spell Wednesday.

i kept spelling it "Wendsday" in all our pre-tests. i was panicked about it - yeah, i was a strange little kid - so on the day of the test, i cheated. i looked over at someone else's paper. i got it right but it was marked wrong. i looked up at Mrs. M as she handed back my paper. she looked right back and asked me if i wanted to talk about it. she was so kind to me. she walked with me to our cloakroom and knelt down and looked me straight in the eye and told me she had seen me. she didn't yell, she didn't belittle me, she didn't embarass me. she didn't say anything else. i said i was sorry. she took her pen and wrote this: Wed nes day and said "think 3 sylables, not 2."

i am pretty certain i spell that word correctly 99.99999% of the time because as i am writing, i am saying to myself "3 syllables, not 2."

Mrs. M didn't call my mom. in fact, she never brought it up again. Mrs. M taught me more than spelling that day. . .

to this day, i am very grateful for her and think of her fairly regularly. . . oddly enough, mostly on Wednesdays. . .

thank you Mrs. M!!!!!

a book recommendation

2009-06-17T12:26:00.005-05:00

i facilitate a women's study one night a week. we are currently discussing the book Prayer and Providence: How Does God Work in the World? by Terrance Tiessen. i highly recommend it if you are willing to tackle a little "academic" theology - seriously, i had to dig out a couple of my theology textbooks and do a little remedial reading.

the book is an interesting read because the author presents a case study and then goes on to explore what different models of prayer look like - including semi-diest, process, openess, church dominion, molinist, thomist, barthian, calvinist, and fatalist. each model is presented with a profile of a person who could be setting next to you in the pew this Sunday - what s/he thinks about God's role in the world - and a prayer that would encompass that person's view of God's role and the current need expressed in the case study.

every model interacts with that original case study so you really do get a chance to compare apples to apples - well, at least apple pie to apple pie.

teaching stuff like this usually scares the bejeebers outta me. i know that i will be called to put my money where my mouth is. . . that is one of the reasons i never teach on subjects like achieving patience, humility and the woman of God, my money is God's money, the perfect home, the wifely call to submission. . .

the journey begins with goodby

2009-06-15T10:59:00.005-05:00

well my youngest took off for California this morning. . . this is harder than i thought it would be.

memories of the last 20 years with him have overwhelmed me this week. . .

my pregnancy - i was so sick i couldn't keep much down - my doctor prescribed SNICKERS as meal replacement - what a doctor! (that would probably make an interesting SNICKERS commercial)

his birth - so fast the anesthesiologist stepped out to get coffee, Micah showed up 20 minutes later - so i had no spinal. . . just 20 minutes of ridiculously hard labor. . . lucky i was already at the hospital. . .

his toddler/preschool years - spent making friends with all the emergency room staffs during his numerous visits for stitches. . . it was a very good thing that i don't faint at the sight of blood - i would have celebrated his 2nd birthday with him and then come to after he started kindergarten.

his elementary years - continued the above mentioned friendships with er staffs, watching him grow into his smile while developing his verbal skills "negotiating" his place in our family with his three older sisters. Micah didn't play the expected baseball and football route. . . instead he expanded the parental units' world view with soccer and wrestling.

his high school years - well, let's just say i found myself having to look up to him a lot! he passed me by his sophmore year and then his dad by graduation. soccer and wrestling gave way to tennis and driving and working and a move from where he had spent his most of his life to someplace else. . . not easy. . . he also got his first tattoo! seriously, one of my proudest moments.

post high school - living at home but working and planning for a day like today - when the pull of adventure and countless opportunities can no longer be ignored. . . yep, when a day like today finally arrives and the real journey begins.

i love you, spikeboy. . . always have, always will!

is there anything wrong with being middle class?

2009-06-14T03:31:00.003-05:00

ok, i'm just curious. . .

is there anything wrong with being middle class and being ok with being middle class?

although at the present time, i'm not sure if i'm upper lower class, middle lower class, lower middle class, middle middle class. . . but i'm pretty dang sure i'm not anything upper class. . .

let there be light!

2009-06-13T10:46:00.006-05:00

well, the last couple of days have been nuts!

our oldest daughter and her husband just closed on their first domestic abode. after being apartment dwellers for the last couple of years, they took the plunge and bought a beautiful, completely remodeled townhouse.

as part of our housewarming gift to them, we offered to paint the master bedroom. the closing took way longer than anyone expected and legally allowed - (my opinion only) - so we didn't even get started painting until that evening with the furniture set to arrive the next morning. dave and i and lacey and micah all took part in the painting. becky even jumped in and grabbed a brush and a roller. i think she was the only member of our family not roped into one of mom's painting projects before now.

dave and i finished up at 1:00 am with what looked like some minor touch-up work to be done. but what looked better than fine in light bulb light, well, it did not look so fine in actual daylight. another coat was needed in many areas and there were a few errant paint drops on the floor. so becky and i spent part of a long lunch and then dave and i spent some time after dinner repainting and touching up. oh, and cleaning up.

side road - one of the best products known to mankind. . . Goof Off - "Everybody goofs up sometimes – which is why every home, garage and workshop needs Goof Off."

this got me thinking about artificial lighting vs daylight and how daylight is much more truthful about the condition of paint on the walls, dust on the end table, smudges on the window. . .
how the opinions of my family/friends on my character or complete strangers i have stopped to help are a sort of artificial light in my life. it's so easy to feel good about yourself and your life when you only look around with the help of a lamp or flashlight. the true test is God's daylight on my life. . . and let me tell you, there are a lot of smudges, dustballs, and 2nd coats needed. . .

i wonder what the spiritual equivalent of Goof Off is. . .

community living

2009-06-10T09:05:00.001-05:00

a friend of mine used to say that when we share only our victories we build competition. BUT when we share our losses we build community.

i was thinking today of how often in my quest to encourage someone i fail to share that i fail. . . and somewhat regularly at that.

that being all i can be for God and living my life with excellence standards so i can truly be a good witness/ambassador for Him is exhausting and can do more harm than good in my trying to earn the right to be heard.

it's about being honest in our humanity - because only then can we really be reflective of God. if i set myself up as a superhero, there is little room for the awesomeness of His mercy and grace in my life. if i am honest in my humanity, there is all the room needed to give Him the glory for what good there is. . .

Total Eclipse of the Heart: Literal Video Version

2009-06-09T15:51:00.001-05:00

the original 1984 Bonnie Tyler video made absolutely no sense - good song but weirder than weird imagery. someone has given us a literal version where the song and the "art" are finally
in synch.

3 resources for the domestically challenged

2009-06-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

over the years i have struggled with keeping my house to some level of non-CHAOS ("can't have anyone over syndrome" - per the fly lady - but i'm getting to that).

i have actually used the same philosophy with my home that i use with my personal devotions. i use what works until it doesn't.

when we only had 1.68 children, my devotions were leisurely affairs over tea while they were napping and cleaned as needed. when that 1.68 became 5.7 - little boys count double :) - i used nap time for cleaning and wedged my quiet times - i had multiple small increment devos during the day - in between handing out snacks and cleaning up after snacks, after placing a small child on a potty chair and wiping said small child's bottom, in between laying down to go to sleep and actually falling asleep - sometimes this amounted to a12 second devotional. i sang a lot of worship songs while picking up, cleaning up, straightening up, and throwing up - i throw up easily when i'm tired. i hoped that the worship in the worship songs counted for something. i had three intensive years of bible school - no where in all that instruction did we cover quiet times for mommies. so i rolled with the punches and adapted.

ok, so i know some of you are rolling your eyes. . . please, just file this away for the future - when one of your friends/sisters/grown children can't keep house like you do.

when the kids were really small i used the SHE system by Pam Young and Peggy Jones (Side-tracked Home Executives). a great little system based on rotating 3x5 index cards that scheduled chores on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. it worked and the sisters who developed it were really funny! (the only time this didn't work is when the card file got dumped. . . )

when the kids were school age i used the flipper system developed by Sandra Felton, founder of MA (Messies Anonymous). too cool! using index cards inserted into a flipper photo album with a over-head marker to check off the chores. i had made some homemaking progress so this was a step forward.

then the kids were tweens and teens, i was working full-time and i needed some extra help. enter The Fly Lady and her marvelous computer based system with fun stuff to do like the 27 fling boogie.

each system met a different homemaking skill level need for me. so i share all this with you to say - IF YOUR CURRENT SYSTEM IS NOT WORKING. . . FIND ANOTHER ONE!
do not give up! there is help out there!

dave and i will be empty nesters soon - like in 9 weeks - and i am going back the flipper system. . . i'll let you know how this goes. . . i'll also post something about my adventures in quiet times. . .

another one bites the dust

2009-06-06T10:32:00.004-05:00

another phone call, another stunned youth pastor outta a job.

so i'm calling for the creation of a clergy/church clearinghouse - a matchmaking service of sorts.

it seems that a lot of good youth pastors have been hired, used, abused, and spit out by chucklehead churches. and a lot of good churches have hired and then been used, abused and spit on by chucklehead youth pastors - hence the clearinghouse idea. . .

i propose we set-up the dating service so chucklehead congregations can find chucklehead youth dudes and keep their chuckleheadedness in the chucklehead family. . . leaving healthy churches and pastors to find each other and get on with the work of the gospel without the distraction that comes with having to work with/around chuckleheads.

any takers?

why i don't drive a red car even though i want to

2009-06-05T09:54:00.003-05:00

i like red. a lot. i like red cars. a lot. but i do not drive one because i hold to the theory, urban legend, whatever you want to call it - that red cars get pulled over more often.

if you google that statement you will get proof that
- yes, they do
- no, they don't
- insurance rates are higher for red cars because of this "fact"
- insurance rates have nothing to do with what color car you are driving

all i know is that while driving to Minnesota this week, I was in a "pack" of 5 cars with a red one towards the front. we were all driving about 12 miles over the speed limit. we all slowed a bit when we came over the rise and spotted a police car in the median. we probably all breathed a sigh of relief as we realized he wasn't making a move.

but then he did. he made his way steadily through the cars behind us, to get to us - who were now all driving 2 miles over the speed limit, and finally settled right behind the red one. i held my breath for like 10 seconds and then. . . sure enough, the lights went on.

ok, so i don't know if a ticket was even issued or if there was a reason the officer was specifically looking for that red car. all i know is while driving to Minnesota this week, I was in a "pack" of 5 cars all speeding a tiny bit and only the red one got pulled over.

i will continue to admire other people's red cars.

a change of perspective

2009-06-04T11:12:00.003-05:00

i am in Winona, Minnesota today - hanging around doing the tourist thing while one of my kids is sitting through transfer student orientation at one of the local places of higher learning.

yesterday, on the way here, said kid and i were admiring the lush green, rolling, hilly, bluff-infested countryside. we actually stopped talking for a few miles. then we laughed - it was pretty dang obvious we are Chicago flatlanders when this amount of topography can make us ooh and aah.

i'm from out west where mountains are mountains and well, massively rugged and more than awe inspiring. they're down-right "put-you-in your-puny human-place" gigantimungous (ok, not found in the dictionary - but definitely should be). not to mention the other extreme "The Grand Canyon" - aptly named for depth and grandness. looking at either one puts things in perspective - quickly and decisively.

but since i've lived in the level land of Lincoln for over half of my life, and my day-to-day view has adapted - the lush green, rolling, hilly, bluff-infested countryside was an unexpected sight for sore eyes.

so, no - it wasn't the panoramic view of THE ROCKIES. . . it was Wisconsin!?!

back in the saddle again

2009-06-02T08:11:00.002-05:00

well, after an extended blogging/internet fast, i am back. i wish i could say that it was self-imposed for serious spiritual contemplation but that would be a serious stretch of the truth.
it was woman vs technology and i was on the losing team.
so let's get begin again or pick up where we left off or start in the middle or. . .

Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009

2009-04-11T19:05:00.001-05:00

Vintage Sesame Street-Rubber Ducky (Ernie)

2009-03-28T12:36:00.001-05:00

if i'm posting duck songs today. . . i havta post my all time favorite. . . this one has a nicer, gentler duck. . .

The Duck Song

2009-03-28T12:32:00.001-05:00

ok, i'm not sure if there are hidden meanings, fascist overtones, or moral lessons in this little ditty. . . but it caught my fancy so i thought i'd share. . .

violent video games and the coming post-apocalyptic futre

2009-03-13T16:59:00.003-05:00

i have long thought about the question of whether or not violent video games can adequately prepare our children for the coming post-apocalyptic future. . .
i'm glad The Onion has done it's homework. . .The Onion's answer

30 Second Bunnies Minisode - Bunnies: Napoleon Dynamite

2009-03-07T23:29:00.001-06:00

if you have never seen the Starz Bunnies condense a film into 30 seconds. . . well, you just haven't lived life. . .
they have a unique collection - something for everyone. . . Casablanca, Rocky, No Country for Old Men, 16 Candles. . . and if you are into slasher movies. . .
i am a chicken when it comes to horror flicks. . . so i just catch the bunny version. . . none of that building up of suspense stuff. . . or gory blood. . . it's a cartoon. . . i'm telling you. . .it's the way to go.
but here. . . enjoy Napoleon Dynamite - bunny style!

last night at ochestra hall

2009-03-06T14:17:00.003-06:00

last night dave and i went into the city for a night at the symphony. . . ok, not something we do regularly or for that matter, have ever done before. but what made this special was Charlie Chaplin's silent film"Modern Times" was shown - exit organist - enter orchestra! how cool was that?

Chaplin's "Modern Times"
Members of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra Timothy Brock, conductor
In the last screen appearance of the Little Tramp, the character that brought Charlie Chaplin world fame, the incomparable actor-director created a brilliant comedy about man’s struggle to survive in the industrialized world during the Great Depression.
Modern Times © Roy Export Company Establishment.

there we were - people from all walks of life - watching a film with no color (obviously), very few spoken words, and a plot that looked vaguely familiar - laughing our heads off at the antics and misfortunes of one man against the "machine." not to mention enjoying musical score that Chaplin himself composed for the movie.

i had really forgotten what a great "dancer" (that words hardly justifies Chaplin's incredible movements/body language) and performer he was.

anyway, if you ever get the chance to see a Chaplin film on the big screen - organist or orchestra - make the effort. you will be glad you did.

Left Behind (The Rapture Song)

2009-03-02T22:52:00.003-06:00

as someone who didn't sleep for 12 days straight after seeing A Thief in the Night as a 5th grader,

debated pre-trib vs post-trib as a college junior,

converted to pre-wrath as a thirty-something,

and now holds strong to the apathetic eschatological view - i know its going to happen, i know i'm going, i just don't care about the when, where, and how - and i'm much happier for it. . .

as that "someone" - i found closure in the five minutes and sixteen seconds of this video.

comic books and church music part I

2009-03-02T06:00:00.000-06:00

i work for a toy distributor. i was only there to help out before the holidays and ended up staying a bit longer than planned. it has been cooler than cool for one specific reason and it has nothing to do with the toys. . . i work with people who love sci-fi and comic books.

it is great to be able to talk about this stuff with other people. dave is ecstatic that i have found some "Trekkie" friends to play with. . . . he thinks all sci-fi fans are created equal - he doesn't understand that you can be a sci-fi affectionado without being a Captain Kirk fan - but i digress.

one of my co-workers loaned me "the watchmen" - a graphic novel in which the 12 individual series comics that make up the novel were released 20 years ago and is finally making it to the big screen this week. i don't want to do a review here but i do want to touch on one of the themes - what do super heroes do when they are forced into retirement? (you will have to read it or watch it to find out or you could email me and ask me and i might tell you).

do they fade gracefully into the night and make new lives for themselves in a world that no longer needs or remembers them? or do they they fade gracefully into the night allowing bitterness and anger to hijack their moral compasses and end up planning the destruction of said ungrateful world?

ok, i was reading the watchmen during the time i was talking with someone about the church music's evolution/revolution the last 30 years - organists, pianists, choirs, music directors, Hymns (spelled with a CAPITAL "H"), choruses and cantatas to guitarists, keyboardists, drummers, praise teams, worship pastors, worship songs and choruses, and hymns (spelled with a little "h").

what do organists and pianists and choir members and choir directors do when they are forced into retirement?

do they fade gracefully into the night and make new lives for themselves in a church that no longer needs or remembers them? or do they fade gracefully into the night, leaving that church to search for one with a pipe organ and robes?

part II tomorrow. . .

time for the current reading list

2009-03-01T17:55:00.002-06:00

ok, here is what i happen to be reading at the moment. . .

Joe Carter and John Coleman's How to Argue Like Jesus: Learning Persuasion From History's Greatest Communicator
i literally just started this one today. . .

a friend sent me a copy of the purse-driven life: It really is all about me by Anita Renfroe - i sorely needed a good laugh and i got one - haven't finished it yet. . . and thanks a lot Joy!!!!

D.L. Moody on Spiritual Leadership by Steve Miller - found this on a bookshelf in our family room - odd really, have no pickin' idea where it came from - i'm a Moody grad so i've read a bit about the school's founder but not necessarily from a spiritual leadership point of reference. . . i'll let you know.

my boss knows i like sci-fi and handed me a copy of C.S. Lewis' Out of the Silent Planet which i haven't read since my senior year in college back in the 80's. . . it is as good as i remembered. and no, we're not in Kansas or Narnia anymore. . .

and lastly, thanks to a co-workers lending library of great stuff i am in the midst of numerous comic books and graphic novels. . . and the really truly big book of Marvel: the Characters and Their Universe. hey, i work for a toy distributor and the office i share with Sales is done in Super Heroes and Super Villians. . . the Villians ended up on my side of the office. . . hmmmmmm, i wonder what that means?

Calgon, take me away!

2009-02-25T08:05:00.004-06:00

when my kids were small i contemplated how my life would change when they grew up and moved out and on.

i could take a bath with no one banging on the door needing to use the bathroom. we only had one bathroom for about a third of their lives - it just seemed like an eternity.

i could take a bath with no one banging on the door demanding the whereabouts of his/her favorite toy. scary thing is i usually knew the answer.

i could take a bath with no one calling from 911 asking if our house was really on fire and should they send help. that one was exciting - but i'm really glad they called first.

i could eat hot foods hot and cold foods cold. actually, i kinda like everything room temperature these days.

i could drink my drink without sharing it and getting those "floaters" that magically appeared. now i have four legged beasts that will lap up anything in a cup without the benefit of "the magic word."

i could watch TV that was geared towards minds that dealt with mortgages, grocery lists, and budgets that didn't budget. in other words - NO PUPPETS!

i could actually find a pen, a stapler, my keys, the bottle of crazy glue, and BOTH of any pair of my shoes without holding The Inquisition.

i could plan a week's menu that didn't include macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese toasties, or string cheese. the latter which was invented by a desperate soccer mom who was hungry from all that car-pooling and tired of eating little graham crackers shaped like cuddly teddy bears.

all that contemplation got me nowhere. . .

i used to think my bath time was too short unless i started to wrinkle. but at my age, well, let's just say i don't need any help in the wrinkle department.

i used to think food served at the perfect temperature ensured perfect enjoyment and a drink without floaters would be heaven. not so much. . .

i used to think TV could stimulate my intellect - well, yeah, no. . . yeah, i'm pretty sure, no. . .

i used to think the kids were the reason i couldn't find anything around the house. hmm, still looking for one of my boots. . .

i used to think menu planning was mindless. i realize i just eat yogurt for breakfast and lunch only having to worry about what's for dinner these days.

now i know that i sorta miss some of the above mentioned schtuff and am looking forward to another generation of Corlew's running around wrecking havoc and fun and leaving handprints and hugs every time they leave the room. . .just not anytime real soon.

silence may not be golden but it is quiet

2009-02-24T08:14:00.004-06:00

the last two weeks have been quiet.

internet and networking issues have been plaguing our home. (we will be switching internet and phone and tv provider next month. . . there were so many people jumping ship that the install dates are 5 weeks out. so the next 4 weeks will be interesting fighting to get and maintain a connection. . . i think i will be spending a lot of time at the library.)

and i dropped my cell phone in a cup of coffee. . . yeah, i know. . . i was on a land line and my cell rang so i picked it up to see who it was, looked, and then dropped it my into my cup o' java while attempting to answer a caller's question, grab a copy off the printer and place my cell back on my desk. . .

note - out of desperation, i got on youtube and followed somebody's directions on how to "save" a submerged cell . . . my cell works. . . kinda. . .

so, the last two weeks have been very quiet.
and the weird part is. . . after the first week of panic, nausea, frustration, and incessant talking to myself - i was ok with it being so quiet.
i wasn't lonely.
i wasn't frazzled.
i wasn't grumpy.

i think i might have been suffering from a case of a severe, self-imposed "online-itis." you know, the disease where you try to stay connected with at least 97.3% of the people who facebook, email, and text message you while attempting to stay well-read on today's current events, world-wide current events. . . AND live your life in the face-to-face world of family, work, friends, and more work. . .

i think i'll pencil in a couple of weeks for an off-line vacation come August. . .

I Love Jesus but I Drink A Little - the song

2009-02-09T22:57:00.001-06:00

i hate country music - but i think this was a product of divine inspiration. . .
i wonder if if we can sing this at church. . .

Ellen DeGeneres ~ I Love Jesus But I Drink A Little (HQ)

2009-02-09T22:53:00.001-06:00

ok, i know it's a little long - but i had to post this. . .

T-Rex Milk Commercial

2009-01-27T08:38:00.001-06:00

and Stanley brings us Roger

2009-01-26T09:10:00.004-06:00

yesterday I posted about how Stanley, our lab/english setter came to help us out. today i need to tell you how Roger, our boston terrier came to help Stanley. . . and us too.

after Lacey completed high school by correspondence, tutoring, and internet class, she wanted/needed to try college. POTS was still in the picture but she had at least come to a point where she knew her boundaries (most of the time) and knew what to expect when she went outside those boundaries. (those boundaries included things like drinking enough liquids, keeping up a high salt intake, not getting overheated, making sure she got enough sleep, resting when needed.)

so Lacey signed up for some classes at our local jr. college and away she went. and Stanley, who had been with Lacey 24/7 for almost 3 years lost it. he suffered huge with separation anxiety. Dave took him to the vet and got a clean bill of physical health but Stanley was obviously not doing well. i talked to our vet's office and they suggested doggie prozac or a companion pet. well, that was not much of a choice for me. . . i'd take two dogs over one dog on medication any day. and this was Stanley we were talking about - our personal miracle worker in fur. we owed him.
so i talked with Dave. he was i think, hoping that Stanley would snap out of it and we wouldn't have to make a choice. . . but Stanley was not snapping anything. . .

in passing, we heard through the grapevine that a litter of pups had been born to Abby and Duke, Stanley's friends from where we used to live. Stanley had many romps with Duke, who lived next door and a very unfortunate one with Abby when she was puppy - she fractured a bone in her leg and had to wear a little doggie cast. Stanley did feel bad about that when we told him.

Dave said something like if we were to get another dog, a pup from them would be his choice.

i took that as a green light and called the owners only to find that no puppies were available - they were all spoken for. Ok, so much for that. so i talked to Dave about the disappointing news. Looking back, he did not seem as disappointed as i was. and he was not interested in looking for a second dog at the local shelter.

two weeks later the owners called and said a pup was now available and asked if we would want him. WOULD WE WANT HIM?????? are you kidding???? of course, we would - using the all inclusive "we." Karen did not tell Dave because she wanted to surprize him.

Her thinking. . . God's divine will. . . how could Dave argue with Him?

so two weeks later the puppy was picked up and brought to his new home. . . and we all lived happily ever after.

not quite.

Dave was not pleased and was pretty sure Karen's will got in the way of God's - Karen was not happy and did not agree with Dave's assessment of the will of God. but the puppy was adorable AND housebroken and within a couple of days there a was a noticeable improvement in Stanley.
so Roger became a Corlew dog and helped Stanley, the other Corlew dog through his separation anxiety.

so when people ask us about our dogs - we tell them Stanley is Lacey's dog and Roger is Stanley's.

POTS brings us Stanley

2009-01-25T07:05:00.002-06:00

i have written about POTS before - twice actually. i wrote about the difficulty of living with POTS and about the whole gift of unanswered prayer that i got to unwrap.

but i didn't write to you about Stanley and how he came to rescue the Corlews. . .

it was before we had THE diagnosis - it was during the hard, dark time when we knew something was wrong but the medical community was convinced that this was depression. and yes, i would agree that there was depression - lacey depressed because of the never-ending-wicked headache and fatigue and light-headedness and loss of mobility and friends - dave and i worn out and down by the brick wall we kept running into - her siblings bewildered and tired of Lacey's illness being the focus of our family.

after a particularly depressing doctor appointment, i recieved a call from an affliate therapist who asked about Lacey and wondered if we had considered pet therapy. i assured him we had pets- a very fine feline by the name of Nelson and a tiny, tiny kitten name Lovey . "No, Mrs. Corlew - I mean a responsive pet, like a dog." we spoke for a few more minutes and then signed off. we never spoke again, i never got the chance to say "thank you."

we had given up our yellow lab the year before. Thor was Dave's dog, the son of two great hunting dogs. because Dave was not able to devote as much time to training Thor and hunting, the dog became a confused house dog. so Dave trained Thor to sit and stay and come and lay down. Thor did well with Dave but not so good with the rest of us (Becky has a good story about running around our neighborhood in her pj's trying to get Thor back home). we had bought a home in the country but on a busy road and knew that one distracted dog and one busy highway were not a good combination. Thor went to live with good friends with a fenced-in backyard and Dave decreed "no more dogs."

at our house, when Dave "decreeds" something, we all know not to mess with it. . . until we have to. i knew that discussion and manipulation were not options so i prayed. i remember laying in bed that night telling God that although i knew, i just knew a dog would help Lacey - there was nothing to be done unless HE chose to intervene.

the short story is that one of my co-workers came to me the very next day inquiring after Lacey's progress and wondering if we had considered therapy in the form of a puppy because his parent's dog had gotten in the family way and they would love to help us and give Lacey a puppy. (yep, i'm aware that that was one long, honkin' run-on sentence - i'm ok with that - try reading it out loud without taking a breath - that's exactly what the whole experience felt like)

wow! God had spoken and provided. . . how could Dave argue with Him???

Dave, Lacey, and I found ourselves on the other side of the cheddar curtain in Kenosha, meeting the mama dog, the papa dog, and all the pups. all Lacey can remember is sitting down on the floor and then Stanley was in her arms.

the owners gave us a dish towel to wrap him in for the ride home - we hadn't come prepared because Dave said we were just going to "look" at the pups. Dave was strangely quiet on the ride home. i didn't bother to inquire. . . this was between him and God.

Stanley did not cure Lacey but he did rescue us. he gave us a new focus, a reason to laugh and helped Lacey by needing to go out and be fed and be loved and love her back. he earned his place with the man of the house with his loyalty to Lacey, his gift of alerting us when she needed something, his ability to do something totally off the wall when the family's stress level got too high (yes, he opened the delivery box and ate the whole left-over pizza in the 27 seconds it took us to walk our guests to door and say good-bye - he did that all without the benefit of thumbs, we were mad but impressed).

Stanley was Lacey's best friend and smart enough to choose Dave as his next best friend. Dave accepted.

i believe in the difference a pet can make in lives of people struggling with illness.

i believe in a God who cares enough to send a puppy to a sick little girl and changes her father's mind.

CADBURYS EYEBROW DANCE ADVERT - DO THE DANCE!

2009-01-24T12:41:00.001-06:00

Eyebrows dancing. . . and chocolate. . . i like it!

shattered stained glass part II

2009-01-24T10:07:00.002-06:00

shatteredstainedglass.com is set to open its virtual doors sometime next week. it has been an adventure, to say the least but i have had the great privilege of traveling this road with 4 exceptional women. 4 women from different walks of life in different stages of life - brought together to accomplish that which none us could have done on her own. we have built it for us and women like us.

shatteredstainglass.com is for the woman who doesn't fit in with women's ministry, the woman who "tried" church and walked away more wounded than when she first walked in the door, the woman who finds that pat answers and caligraphy bible verses don't even begin to help with a life lived in the fast lane or the carpool.

it is for those of us who have tried make ourselves fit in with the "church ladies." (i mean no disrespect by that term - i have reserved it for those women who are comfortable and content with women's ministry today.)

side road - my value set was slightly off kilter compared to ladies in the Mary/Martha Missionary Circle. trust me, i admit it - i'm a little on the eccentric side. i would rather talk about theology than carpet stain removal. not that i didn't think that removing carpet stains isn't important - i'm just not wired to want to talk about it while hanging out with a group of women (ok, i'm not wired to want to talk about it with anyone, anywhere). and because they seemed to like talking about it. . . well, i knew something was definitely wrong with me.

i spent a lot of time looking for women like me and every once in a while i'd find one. but it truly was "every once in a while. . . " and we would try the "meeting" and end up going out for a cup of coffee afterwards to decompress. we would try a few more "meetings" and then just forgo them and meet at the restaurant. we would talk about politics and faith, money and faith, housework and a lack of faith, books and faith, sex and faith. . . basically, life and faith. no devotional, no church business, no small talk - real life and coffee with no pretense or masks. it was good. "as iron sharpens iron. . . "

part of the problem is that a lot of today's women's ministry is event driven. i personally do not enjoy ladies' teas or brunches or socials - never have. and i am not saying that they should be abolished. . . just that they don't meet the needs of a lot of women who are part of the church body.

a lot of women don't do small talk well. not to mention that events don't necessarily lend themselves to honest disclosure among the participants. events are a great way to introduce your group to new people and vice a versa - but we seem to be missing the next step - and since we're good at event planning. . . we plan another big event.

a lot of life gets lived in between those events - a lot of life that isn't "safe" table talk.

and the church/women's ministry leaders don't always recognize that today's women's ministry is NOT a one-size-fits-all. forty years ago the majority (ok, all but one) of gals in my mom's bible study were married with children and didn't work outside the home. her group met Wednesday mornings. many churches today - as an afterthought - are adding an evening bible study for women who work outside the home modeled after the morning study - and that may not be the right model to follow.

the majority of women's ministry efforts are directed at those women who are "free" during the day or the "big event" for everyone.

we need a mentoring, discipleship kind of ministry to women. we don't need to buy a workbook to go through with each other. we need to go through life with each other - walking, talking, crying, learning to be brave, learning when and where to say "yes, please" and "no, thank you very much." we need to acknowledge that LOTS of times there are no easy answers and there is nothing WE can DO. we need to own up to the fact that a life lived by faith should be exactly that - a life lived by faith (insert your favorite definition of faith right here).

we need to stop exploiting - and yes, i chose that word very carefully - women who have been to hell and back and lived to tell about it. a huge crisis traps you, consumes you, make whatever "IT" is the focal point of your incredibly human existence. and yes, a stronger and deeper faith can be forged in that tremendous heat and pressure.

but we are failing miserably in teaching/mentoring each other in the finer points of faith-living life day-to-day. some of us are not derailed by "the crisis" as much as we are the hundreds of little, important unimportant, seemingly inconsequential choices we make daily that slowly change our course, ever-so-slightly - and perhaps, even lead us - unknowingly to "the crisis."

a mentoring/discipleship, living life together ministry takes time and effort and can't usually be scheduled nicely to fit in a Daytimer or Blackberry. . .

so, our small attempt to meet our needs and those like us - shatteredstainedglass.com
contact me if you'd like an invitation. . .

"Portable 2 Compared to This Fish" - JOHN CLEESE Compaq Ad

2009-01-23T08:38:00.001-06:00

we have come so so far. . .

what i'm reading at this moment

2009-01-14T18:35:00.003-06:00

it is time again to share reading lists. . . here's mine. . . please don't hesitate to share yours.
outside of the first book, i have been caught up in reading for nostalgia's sake. . .

Real Christianity by William Wilberforce, Esq.
it's a modern translation of his work published in 1797. his work exploring and laying out authentic faith that eventually helped end slavery in England. it is a tremendous book - and the principles are timeless and very relevant to our world today, 212 years later.

The Weapon Makers by A. E. Van Vogt
just started reading this sci-fi paperback written 60 years ago. it is so interesting reading sci-fi from that time period. WW II is a fresh memory and manned space travel is still a dream. . . if you like science fiction and haven't read anything before 1975, go to the nearest used book store and pick out 5 or 6 paperbacks for a couple of bucks. great way to spend an evening while you're snowed in or under.

Ladies' Home Journal's Art of Homemaking by Virginia T. Habeeb
my mom had given me her copy when i first got married back in the olden days before cell phones, PCs, and dust busters. i found it when i was unpacking some boxes that haven't been opened since 1985. wow, have things changed and boy am i glad they have changed! in the section about kitchen, the author estimates that a woman spends a minimum of 28 hours a week in the kitchen for meal preparation alone (pg 292). that's a part-time job right there! i won't even comment on the 134 pages devoted to cleaning the house or the 83 pages on doing laundry or the 3 page on mending your clothes or the 16 pages on entertaining. . .

People Power by Thomas J. Stevenin, Ph.D
Dr. Stevenin was a professor that Dave had when he was working was working on his M.A. Dave really enjoyed the prof, the class, and this book. i have given many copies away over the years because it is a wonderful read on "tapping the spirit of quality performance and service in your organization" (taken straight off the front cover). the book is out of print but i have found it on the internet.

i just realized i am one book short of my usual five at a time. . . i'm slackin'. . .

reading outside your neighborhood

2009-01-13T07:59:00.006-06:00

i gave up magazine subscriptions a couple of years ago when i realized that i was cluttering my house with paper books with good articles but lots more advertising than reading material. unless i was going to cut out the articles and file them ( i wasn't), i didn't need the extra bulk laying around.

so i only read magazines at the doctor's office or the hair salon.

but then my parents gave us a gift subscription to The Smithsonian for Christmas. it was an awesome gift. it was the kind of gift you never think to buy for yourself. it was a window to the world.

yeah, yeah. i know what you are thinking. . . the internet provides an entire window wall to the world. true. but i pick and choose what i want to look at when i am surfing. . . if it doesn't look interesting, i keep my mouse click to myself.

but The Smithsonian, now here is a magazine that has a wide variety of topics and photos and a smaller advert section than say. . . well, the magazine with the sweetened, condensed-version articles which has slowly become an advertising piece with reading material thrown in for good measure. and because The Smithsonian is so well done, it earns a place on my coffee table.

and people actually pick it up and read about something that they would probably never take the time to look at on the web.

see, i love the internet and all the good, the bad, and the ugly it has to offer. . . but i have become more selfish knowledge consumer and lost being a more well-rounded reader that a magazine like The Smithsonian encourages. and hey, they are running a subscription special of $12 for 12 issues right now.

so challenge yourself to read outside what you normally read this week. and go look at a copy of The Smithsonian. . . at least visit them on the web. . . who knows what you might find. . .

Arm Chair Theologians

2009-01-08T06:00:00.004-06:00

i am a card carrying member of ACTs - Arm Chair Theologians. we started a local chapter - what the heck, it is the only chapter - for the discussion of theology, more specifically, practical theology. i know, is there any other kind?

we are a small, rag tag group of Christ followers - some married, some not - some young, some not - some male, some not. we hold our meetings at a local Panera amidst coffee mugs, scones, and the occasional Jones Soda. we have tackled two books so far. Rudolf Otto's The Idea of the Holy, which was quite the undertaking for our first book and The Shack by William P. Young.

i know. . . the first book being an English translation of a classic in religious philosophy, was written before WWII by a distinguished German theologian. i quote the back cover "The Idea of the Holy, (which) is fundamentally an inquiry into the non-rational factor in the idea of the divine and its relation to the rational. . ." we spent weeks on the idea of the "mysterium" and the "numinous." we would all admit to falling far short of what the author intended. but we tackled it and we discussed it and we re-read chapters as we tried to get our heads and lives around it. and we admitted defeat in trying to define the undefinable Holy God we serve. actually, it only solidified our resolve to stop trying to make "human" sense out of our lives and Him. He is a big God.

the second book might seem an odd choice to follow The Idea of the Holy. ok, i thought it was a weird choice. but we picked it because of the portrayal of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. i don't want to "wreck" the book for anyone so i'm not going to blog about the particulars. i was reading the book because a friend asked me to and i did it without seeing any of the reviews - so i hit the chapter where the main character meets up with God with no warning or preconceived notions. i think it was better that way. there is theology in them thar pages. . . not a typical presentation for sure but it was worth the read and the lively discussion that followed. some of us really liked it and some of us really didn't. but it was interesting to see the author try to answer the question of why bad things happen to good people and where God (all three of them) is in that answer.

the book we are starting this week is a book i mentioned yesterday A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God; Spirituality for the Rest of Us by Larry Osborne. it is a book with a lot of the same questions i and my square peg friends have been asking - sometimes in hushed tones so as not to offend others with our lack of faith and decorum. seriously, it is really worth the read - even if you are not a contrarian. because, i bet you know or live with one. . .

i'll let you know how this goes.

hey, if you like theology, find some people smarter than you that like it too - and start your own chapter of ACTs. (sorry, bad pun, i know. but couldn't resist. . . )

putting God first - kinda

2009-01-07T07:54:00.002-06:00

i wanted to quote a passage from Larry Osborne's A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God for a couple of reasons. . .
1. it has got me re-thinking how i think about prioritizing my life
2. it might encourage you to read the book

In chapter twenty-one entitled "Priority Number One? Why Putting God First Might Be a Bad Idea," the author makes a rather startling confession. . .

"After years of muddling along trying to make God my first priority but never being quite sure what it meant, I finally gave up.

I stopped putting God first.

I put him in the middle.

Imagine a circle or a wheel with a hub and spokes. Now put God in the center hub. Each of the spokes represents an area or activity of life. It might be work, family, church, friends, interaction with your kids or spouse, mowing the lawn, or taking a nap.

Whatever it is, now imagine doing it for God."

(page 211)

i need pictures in my head to go along with my thoughts sometimes. they help me quickly remember whatever it is i want to remember. the "hub" is helping me remember God's place in my life in a way that JOY (Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last) never did.

i think i need to re-think my next tattoo. . .

Turkey Bowling PSA from the Greens and Grains grocery store

2009-01-06T08:13:00.001-06:00

the evils of turkey bowling. . . hmmm. . . who would have thought?

waiting for the cable guy

2009-01-05T22:40:00.004-06:00

well, my days have been filled with technical support calls to a) the internet provider b) the manufacturer of the router and c) the manufacturer of my computer. . . literally, hours of frustration with and without a phone attached to my head. literally, hours and hours without a) the internet b) a functional router or c) amazing results from the newest software with amazing diagnostic powers. oh yeah, and just for fun, intermittent home phone service and cable tv.

after finally concluding that the majority of fault lay with the internet provider. . . there was nothing to do but wait for the cable guy.

i know. i know that this is not a big deal in the grand scope of reality these days. there is the economy, the war, the "other" wars and genocides running concurrently with our war, global warming freezing our nether-parts clean off while burying us under considerable amounts of snow, the economy, the biggest Ponzi scheme earth has ever seen, and well, the economy.

i get that. but what scared me is how dependent we are all becoming on technology. and how sophisticated technology is becoming. (ok, all you with Macs, i am beginning to see the light. . . and after the hours i logged trying to get my pc to talk nicely with the router and the router to talk nicely with the modem and the modem to talk nicely with the internet. . . i can justify the expense next time around. but in the meantime, i am living in pc world/hell.)

there are a couple of family members who are committed to keeping our grandmas' computers running smoothly - as well as writing out EASY user instructions for them. if we didn't do that on a regular basis, neither nana would have her forwarded emails OR she would be paying big bucks to the guys in the white, short-sleeved shirts and skinny ties to figure out why her printer is not printing or why the font in her email mysteriously changed size yesterday. both grandmas have learned that email is a good way to touch base with a grandchild - yes, texting would be preferred over email but hey, they are just getting the hang of email. . .

computers connect us to each other - and us to our banks - and our banks to our mortgage lenders - and so on and so on. computers connect us to a truth that sometimes our news media is not willing to tell. computers supply us with a steady stream of knowledge and junk based completely on our whims and the strength of our character. they are part of the American household now.

i remember reading an article on "the home of the future" completely "run" by a computer. i no longer find that intriguing or comforting. i find it down right scary. my home at the mercy of software and hardware compatibility issues and power surges, not to mention, human error. . . i don't think so.

yeah, about that. . . the cable guys, (yes, they sent two of them) were here for a long, long time today. . . diagnosing and then ripping out and installing cable to correct the somewhat haphazardly built maze of coaxial we had running through our walls . . .

but resolving the main issue of no internet involved showing me the engaged "stand by" button on the modem which temporarily shut off our internet but not our phones or cable tv. . .

hmmmm, human error. . . mine.

2009 and simplicity

2009-01-01T07:30:00.007-06:00

i don't "do" new year resolutions - probably because i suck at at them. but i decided this year, 7 hours and 43 minutes into it, that "simplicity" is my word for the next 12 months.

i know that simplicity is going to involve paring down and uncluttering my life a bit - that probably means i am going to have to devote some time to the throwing out or giving away everything that i'm not using. although i have made a conscious effort over the last 5 years to consider the time i will spend maintaining - dusting, vacuuming, cleaning, polishing, whatever - the object of my latest desire BEFORE i plunk down my hard earned cash, i still have stuff that i don't need and i'm not using.

one place simplicity has kinda worked in the past is my wardrobe - and i use the term "wardrobe" loosely - my closet is a study in black - jackets, pants, and skirts. i have shirts that are different colors but i do have to admit to wearing black shirts with the black jackets and pants and skirts a lot - me and Johnny Cash - what can i say? i made that wardrobe choice when my kids were young and i went back to work part-time and then full-time. with a black wardrobe i didn't have to waste precious time contemplating what matched - it all did and does. (i do own a few pairs blue jeans but i pare them with black shirts and jackets, of course.) i wonder how much contemplating time i've saved over the years??

side road - i prefer color in my surroundings. a gallon of paint is the simplest, cheapest, easiest way to change the mood of a room. i cook in an ocean-blue and white kitchen, study and blog in an ocean-green and white office, and read or play the piano in a honey-mustard living room. i haven't painted the rest of the walls because my better half is part Norwegian. And that "part" is committed to white food (no joke - fish, potatoes, bread, kumla=dumplings, kringla=sugar cookies without the sugar) and white walls. i count this "color deferment" as part of my wifely submission duties - i'm not sure God does, or Dave for that matter. but i'm hoping to win them both over with my sincerety. :)

back to simplicity. . .
a friend gave me a very cool bulletin-board thing - it sits on my desk. right now i can look over and read the name of a woman i have never met. she is a friend of a friend. her name on that scrap of paper represents all the women who don't fit in easily at church or women's ministry. she represents the kind of women that Shattered Stained Glass is hoping to reach. seeing her name daily has served to remind me - push me - challenge me to do my best for her.

it can be a powerful thing. . . one printed word.

so this morning i added another piece of paper with the word "simplicity" - another reminder, another push, another challenge. no goal here, really. . . just fine-tuning a mindset.

simplicity - a call to major on the majors and minor on the minors. . . less drama, less stress, less stuff.

a good read and resource on simplicity. . . Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, The Simple Abundance Companion, and Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude

the last day of 2008

2008-12-31T21:42:00.002-06:00

i remember the craziness of Y2K. . . do you?

people were freaking out - Christians were freaking out. . . putting away canned goods, water, batteries and basic survival gear. travel plans were cut way back. . . everyone wanted to be in their own homes when the world ended. . .

hmmmm, that didn't happen.

it seems like there is a lot of worrying and fear about what the future holds for all of us. suddenly the world is a much smaller place than it was during the Cold War. now we share a economic connectedness that is terrifying on a good day. the internet, while sometimes showcasing our cultural differences can't help but point to the truth that we all bleed red. . .

we do not know what 2009 will bring. . . but we shouldn't be afraid. . .
we know what to do ". . . to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God."

and that is enough.

Senior Adult Choir Hip Hop (Short Version)

2008-12-30T08:36:00.001-06:00

saw this video and knew it belonged here. . i copied the notes below. . . their grandchildren should be proud!

"This was the opening video for our Student Fall Retreat called "You've Got Talent." Everyone is asking what inspired this. Here is goes... 1) We needed a great opening video that caught everyone off guard, and set the the tone for the weekend. 2) With this idea in mind, we thought we could use this video as a great object lesson about media choices (kinda creepy hearing your grandparents sing some of this), and 3) this has been a GREAT transgenerational culture experiment. It has totally bridged a gap with our Senior adults and our students. Hope you enjoy!

an alternative to new year's resolutions

2008-12-28T22:13:00.005-06:00

when i was younger i was dumber. . . a lot dumber about some very common sense kinds of things. . . such as the idiocy of making new year resolutions that even Mother Theresa couldn't keep.

every year i would carefully write out 3 or 4 OR 5 or 10 goals for the coming year. . .

(side road - yeah, i'm a bit of a deluded overachiever. i am a bona fide type A workaholic who suffers from delusions or hallucinations - not sure which - concerning getting 29.5 hours of work crammed into the standard issue 24 hour day with a minimum of 6 hours of sleep. and yes, i know, once i type it and see it in print, the whole absurdity of it makes me question my sanity. it might be time for a reality check. . . time machines have not been invented yet. . . regardless of what EBay has to offer.)

back to the goals. . . i want you to know that i had carefully prayed over those resolutions. they were a part of the divine plan for my life. Philippians 4:13 had me covered. failure was not an option. . . but it was a certainty. one simply cannot improve one's posture and penmanship while developing a new personality, working towards world peace, writing this year's vacation bible school theme song, and memorizing the book of 2 Chronicles. there just aren't enough hours in the day.

in this case, failure was not a backdoor to success regardless of what my favorite pastor of Moody Church in Chicago had to say about it. failure was failure. i had tied this whole thing into my spirituality and so by the end of January, and sometimes sooner, i was a mess, but an optimistically determined one - as evidenced by the same scenario played out 11 months later.

but then i kinda developed a new "bring in the new year" ritual. i call it the auld lang syne binge purge. i binge on self-loathing and pity while mulling over last year's blunders until i want to vomit. and then i write it all down - every pickin' mistake and shortcoming that registered at least a 2.1 on the richter scale of failure (some years i've had to use adding machine tape). as soon as i'm done, i go out into the night and set the paper on fire, watch it burn until it is gone while singing one verse of auld lang syne. and then i go to bed ready to start the new year with hope and a sense of endless possibilities instead of premonitions of guilt and depression.

i can't say much more than this - it works for me.

if you decide to try this at home, a small suggestion. . . sing quietly while you're outside burning last year's list, especially if you're in your pj's - you'll have less explaining to do to your neighbors and the nice policeman with his breathalyzer kit.